French twit Emmanuel Macron is getting slapped around politically and domestically. Metaphorically, the former is intensifying after the Louvre heist.  I suspect it is also stinging quite literally on the domestic front.  After all, his wife Brigitte is an enthusiastic patron of culture and the arts, including attending the Louvre multiple times.

Emmanuel already seemed shell-shocked as he played it low-key during the recent peace convocation in Egypt.  Quite out of character for the camera-hugging Frenchie—the attention-seeker can’t even be spotted in this group of world leaders.  He’ll probably be even meeker once Brigitte gets done slapping him silly for neglecting security at the Louvre.  Amidst all the grandiose plans to upgrade the museum, it is only now, as brazen robbers are securing their booty, that Emanuel is emphasizing strengthened security systems.

Though not to condone husband-abuse, given Brigitte’s dominant personality, it may be wise for Emmanuel to practice his ducks, and bobbing and weaving. After all, Emmanuel had conceived extravagant plans for the museum, branded as the “Louvre New Renaissance.”  Mince alors!  He can’t even secure the world’s most visited museum during the daytime.  Daytime!  Slaphappy Brigitte will not be pleased that crown jewels were stolen in broad daylight, and that they are the laughingstock. It could make for a rip-roaring comedy.

It’s sometimes intimated that reality is stranger than fiction. When they cast the movie for this no-brainer script, I suggest that a tough cookie like Charlize Theron play Brigitte.  Interspersed with the thieves’ planning and activities, the script might show Theron slapping the bejesus out of Emmanuel (casting a weak, pathetic wimp for the role should be easy) for failing to secure France’s cultural treasures.  All in slapstick fashion, of course.

That would be in “character.”  An added comedic touch is to revive the role of bumbling Inspector Clouseau.  This time, instead of the Pink Panther, he’ll be tracking Napoleonic-era jewelry.  Meanwhile, Emmanuel, having been slapped-silly, will succumb to a nervous twitch reminiscent of Chief Inspector Charles Dreyfus.

Image from Gemini.