Joe Biden is going to show us what he’s made of
On the campaign trail, we conservatives frequently ridiculed Joe Biden. We thought he was showing signs of dementia. Truth be told, he was operating at a much higher intellectual level than we proles do. We simply didn’t recognize his genius. I’m still trying to figure out what a “lying dog faced pony soldier” is. That one’s so far over my head I fear I’ll never understand its meaning. We are about to see the real Joe Biden, as he brings his intellect to bear on our most chronic problems.
The Trump administration was all about short term gratification, with no thought to future consequences. Donald Trump gave us enhanced prosperity, increased liberty, and improved national security. This was short-sighted and selfish. While the rest of us were drunk on these immediate rewards, Joe knew that a little sacrifice today could yield immeasurable rewards in the future.
The rationale for many of the initiatives that Joe will pursue may not seem obvious at first. That’s because he must be playing the political equivalent of 3D chess, which is simply beyond our comprehension... right? He has a plan, and each step will move us closer to the inevitable goal.
He will indulge the left’s fetish with climate change by rejoining the Paris Climate Accord, restricting energy exploration, and banning fracking. Energy costs will skyrocket, driving up the cost of transportation, utilities, and all manufactured products. Every American’s buying power will be reduced and spending on leisure pursuits will no longer be an option for middle- and lower-income families.
Forgiveness of student loans, profligate spending, and the expansion of government assistance will drive a necessary rise in the national debt. The value of the dollar will be driven down with further erosion of everyone’s buying power.
Trade deals with China will cause rising unemployment and stagnant wages. Fortunately, it will also enrich our ruling class, thus providing them the necessary resources to weather this storm.
“Medicare for all” will give total control of our healthcare to the government. For the first time ever, absolute equality will be achieved in our health care system. If a treatment is unaffordable to our government, it will be denied to everyone – rich or poor.
Police forces will be defunded and private gun ownership severely curtailed. Crime will necessarily rise, but it will provide redistribution of wealth to the less fortunate among us.
Hate speech will be criminalized and dissenting views will be censored. This will ring in an era of love, peace, and harmony for all Americans. Failure to participate in this new, gentler, society will not be tolerated. Re-education camps may be required to help Americans transition with as little trauma as possible.
These are the sacrifices that will be asked of the American people in the short term. But the payoff will be huge. Our most intractable problem will be solved. Illegal immigration will be eliminated – permanently! By turning American into a despotic, impoverished hellhole, we’ll never again have to worry about people sneaking across our border. It worked for Cuba. There’s no reason to believe it will not work here as well.
Unfortunately, Mexico may see an influx of illegal aliens over the next several years. Perhaps they can get us to buy them a wall.
John Green is a political refugee from Minnesota, now residing in Idaho. He is a retired engineer with over 40 years of experience in the areas of product development, quality assurance, organizational development, and corporate strategic planning. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.