Who wrote the Mueller Report?

It was in the pages of the American Thinker in October 2008 that I made the first in-depth case for Bill Ayers's involvement in the writing of Barack Obama's Dreams from My Father.  Given that Obama was assumed to be a genius, the mainstream media and, alas, the media of the respectable right wanted nothing to do with my ostensibly "racist" research.  Racism explains all.  What else could have been my motive?

After Wednesday's congressional hearings, no one assumes that Robert Mueller is of right mind, let alone a genius.  What is more, in that Mueller is white and "cis," apparently, anyhow, even the scribes of the respectable right feel free to question the authorship of the dossier — sorry, "report" — that bears his name.

I began my research under the assumption that Democratic pit bull Andrew Weissmann colluded with Mueller in writing this report.  To begin, I found an earlier law review article by Weissmann that only a stone progressive could or would write.  Taking one for the team, I actually read "Sexual Equality under the Pregnancy Discrimination Act."  You can imagine.

As I did in my literary forensic work on Ayers and Obama, I looked for "tells," meaning parallels in syntax and word choice between "Sexual Equality" and the Mueller Report.  Unlike in the respective oeuvres of Ayers and Obama, where the parallels jump up and smite you like so many Bouncing Bettys, the likely parallels between Mueller's putative work and Weissmann's are buried under a triple-canopy of tedious legalese.  The fact that I could not easily find them does not mean they are not there.

After considerable analysis, "white hat" that I am, I chose not to bring a formal charge of ghostwriting against Weissmann.  That said, I found insufficient evidence to exonerate him of writing the Mueller Report.  Weissmann's fate is better left for Congress to decide.  Let the hearings begin.

Mueller caricature by Donkey Hotey.

It was in the pages of the American Thinker in October 2008 that I made the first in-depth case for Bill Ayers's involvement in the writing of Barack Obama's Dreams from My Father.  Given that Obama was assumed to be a genius, the mainstream media and, alas, the media of the respectable right wanted nothing to do with my ostensibly "racist" research.  Racism explains all.  What else could have been my motive?

After Wednesday's congressional hearings, no one assumes that Robert Mueller is of right mind, let alone a genius.  What is more, in that Mueller is white and "cis," apparently, anyhow, even the scribes of the respectable right feel free to question the authorship of the dossier — sorry, "report" — that bears his name.

I began my research under the assumption that Democratic pit bull Andrew Weissmann colluded with Mueller in writing this report.  To begin, I found an earlier law review article by Weissmann that only a stone progressive could or would write.  Taking one for the team, I actually read "Sexual Equality under the Pregnancy Discrimination Act."  You can imagine.

As I did in my literary forensic work on Ayers and Obama, I looked for "tells," meaning parallels in syntax and word choice between "Sexual Equality" and the Mueller Report.  Unlike in the respective oeuvres of Ayers and Obama, where the parallels jump up and smite you like so many Bouncing Bettys, the likely parallels between Mueller's putative work and Weissmann's are buried under a triple-canopy of tedious legalese.  The fact that I could not easily find them does not mean they are not there.

After considerable analysis, "white hat" that I am, I chose not to bring a formal charge of ghostwriting against Weissmann.  That said, I found insufficient evidence to exonerate him of writing the Mueller Report.  Weissmann's fate is better left for Congress to decide.  Let the hearings begin.

Mueller caricature by Donkey Hotey.