Just when you think Liz Cheney has finally run out of ways to humiliate herself, she finds a new one. This time, she’s taking a potshot at Elon Musk because her new job is apparently screaming at anyone not on the Manhattan cocktail circuit.

At this point, Liz is the craziest Lizzie to enter the national consciousness since Lizzie Borden. And now that she’s done a hatchet job on J.D. Vance and Elon Musk, she deserves a few whacks back—with some cutting remarks.

Liz fired off a snippy “Damn right” in response to Musk calling her out over her past involvement with USAID. (Which, fun fact, is the federal agency known for spraying U.S. taxpayer money around the world like Dick Cheney sprays lead while hunting—indiscriminately, with questionable aim, and usually hitting the wrong target.)

Musk, of course, dared to question the wisdom of this, and for his trouble, Cheney took a thinly veiled swipe at his immigrant status.

Yes, you read that right. The same Liz Cheney who would faint into her non-fat oat milk latte if a conservative questioned someone’s citizenship just did that exact thing to Elon Musk.

If this is the new standard, might I suggest a national revival of the 1970s–80s sitcom Benson?

After all, if Liz Cheney can take cheap shots at an immigrant, maybe we can bring back a show about a politically incorrect but fundamentally decent butler—who somehow managed to climb the ranks from Director of Household Affairs to Budget Director, then Lt. Governor, and finally gubernatorial candidate. 

The 1980s were fun, folks—back when social mobility meant moving up in the world, not moving six feet apart for social distancing.

Hunting with Big Dick Cheney

Now, all of this raises an important philosophical question: How much of Liz Cheney’s insufferable self-righteousness is just hereditary?

Because let’s be honest, if she were anyone else—not the heiress of the House of Cheney—her “political career” would consist of attempting to extol the virtue of sheepherding at the Wyoming Cattlemen’s Association, wondering why nobody in the room is applauding.

And since we’re on the subject of Cheney family traditions, I have a suggestion: Liz, Dick, and Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz should go pheasant hunting together. Governor, you might want to pass on that. Because if there’s one thing we know about Big Dick Cheney, it’s that you never let him slip behind you in a hunting scenario.

(Side note: If thirty-something me had been told that, twenty years later, I’d be writing a political column taking rhetorical shots at Dick Cheney—oops, sorry about that pun, it’s all in fun!—I wouldn’t have believed it. But here we are, folks. Life is strange.)

Cheney, Manhattan, and Jackson Hole: The Cocktail Party Circuit

Liz is probably still confused about why her farewell tour is getting worse Yelp reviews than a vegan steakhouse in Laramie. After all, she gets invited to all the “right” cocktail parties in Manhattan, inside the Beltway, and maybe even Jackson Hole. The problem? The rest of Wyoming—the actual Wyoming—wants nothing to do with her.

To borrow a phrase from corporate HR, she is persona non grata in her “home” state.

But let’s keep it real: she isn’t going anywhere. I’m still looking at the House Oversight Committee report, and believe me, I have questions. On the other hand, Liz has TV hits to do and progressives to impress.

So, until the Cheney Farewell Tour finally reaches its last stop, I’ll be here enjoying the show—and, of course, making sure nobody lets Big Dick Cheney get behind them with a shotgun.

Charlton Allen is an attorney, former chief executive officer, and chief judicial officer of the North Carolina Industrial Commission. He is the founder of the Madison Center for Law & Liberty, Inc., editor of The American Salient, and the host of the Modern Federalist podcast. X: @CharltonAllenNC

Image: YouTube video screen grab.