The ScrewTape Letters Redux: Hurricane Ian aftermath edition

With crime, recession, national insecurity, and cultural decline now littering the American landscape, I found myself thinking of one of the most compelling books ever written: lay theologian C.S. Lewis’s The Screwtape Letters. 

The 1961 novel is a series of letters from a fictional demon bureaucrat named Screwtape to his nephew and acolyte Wormwood. The letters instruct Wormwood to cleverly destroy the faith and morality of a “patient” he is assigned to influence. Screwtape’s tactics are clever and subtle, appearing harmless or even virtuous at first glance.

They now strike me as hauntingly familiar, not just for an individual – but for America.

Beyond the usual fare of my books, my column, and radio/TV work delivering rationalist opposition to the inanity of the common day, in homage to Lewis --  I proffer my two-part series of letters, updated to 2022 featuring a new senior demon named ScrewMaskingTape and his nephew CricketWood.

Part One: My Dear CricketWood…My Poppet, My Pigsnie

My Dear CricketWood,

It is I, your uncle, ScrewMaskingTape.

I hope you are enjoying Hurricane Ian as much as we are. We’ve been watching Ron DeSantis handle this storm with irritatingly serious, decisive leadership. Hopefully, our little storm doesn’t put him on the national ticket in 2024. That would be a very unintended consequence for us.

It has been some time since my former letters of instruction to your predecessor, older brother, and my other nephew, WormFood. I am burning with pride to announce that his lower efforts have been phenomenally successful.

As I was basking in the warmth of our eternal fires at our headquarters, I realized that the Jewish New Year of 5783, Rosh Hoshanah, had just passed. So, with some urgency, before any reflection and prayer could motivate the Jews and their Christian brethren to dismantle our post-2020 victories, I have decided it’s time we commence your own training.

My nephew, you’ve arrived on the job at a glorious time. Our Grand Design progresses perfectly like Swiss clockwork under America’s new rule by progressive elites. It’s a new Roaring Twenties for our side.

Yet, ironically, the devilish delight we are presently experiencing almost wasn’t so. Two years after my 1961 letters to WormFood, we had a near-disastrous internal PR leak when The 45 Communist Goals As Read Into The 1963 Congressional Record. It was taken seriously by some. But most Americans ignored it and did not catch our little slip-up. I do suggest reading it when you have time. For our side, it’s a Top Ten Hits of our ongoing victories over the last sixty years. Just a few of these undeniable triumphs:

  • Capture one or both political parties in the United States.
  • Use technical decisions by the courts to weaken basic American institutions by claiming their activities violate civil rights.
  • Get control of schools, textbooks, and teachers’ unions. Use them to transmit propaganda.
  • Present promiscuity and sexual deviancy as “normal, natural, healthy.”
  • Gain control of key positions in radio, TV, motion pictures, and print media.
  • Replace religion and churchgoing with the virtue-signaling morality of “social justice.”
  • Discredit the Founding Fathers. Present them as rich, slave-owning aristocrats.
  • Discredit all of law enforcement by focusing on uncommon rogue cops.
  • Infiltrate and gain control of unions representing government bureaucrats.
  • Diminish the two-parent family by replacing fatherhood with government support.

See how well we’ve already done! Welcome to the winning side, my young apprentice. I would also suggest my favorite inspirational book, The 10 Planks Of The Communist Manifesto. A great reader’s companion. Communism truly is one of our Lower Lord’s most outstanding achievements.

Please also note that we also got lucky when a vast swath of American baby boomers matured in the Sixties. They turned away from all things traditional and chose a corrosive lifestyle of sex, drugs, and narcissism, all the while calling it “free love.”

Amazing how many of them later became Silicon Valley executives, tenured college professors, and wealthy entertainment industry moguls – all of whom remain some of our absolute best promoters to this day. Their recent rebranding of collectivist communism into a simple “woke” war on all that comes from On High has been absolute genius.

Encouraging sin to foster despair and despondency in our patients is easy. Mortals often seek pleasure instead of embracing arduous work or character-building during setbacks.

The simplicity of a sin has always been our most damning grace. Getting patients to stray can be easy. Betrayal, of course, requires a bit more work for us. It took us more than thirty years to entirely turn Pelosi and Biden. But they were worth every whisper by our minions.

Once again, welcome aboard, dear CricketWood. Remember, always take the low road, and never forget your main responsibility of bringing down that “Shining City on a Hill.” That’s done one heart and mind at a time.

More next week.

Your affectionate Uncle,


Image: PxHere // public domain

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