Biden's accident

The twitterverse is all abuzz over a #1 trending hashtag, #PoopypantsBiden, so at the risk of soiling my very soul, I perused Twitter's website to see why.

The story starts with our president meeting the pope at the Vatican, presumably to discuss Jesus's thoughts about climate change and whether one can claim to be a good Catholic while facilitating the dismemberment of unborn babies.

Three things stood out about the meeting.

One is that the Vatican canned the traditional live footage of the event, instead providing only still shots and small snippets of conversation between the two pale, frail old men.  In one snippet, Biden told the pope he (Pope Francis) was now talking to the only Catholic who's never had a drink.  Although a devoted leftie himself, the pope undoubtedly did not appreciate the inference that his flock comprises alcoholics and must surely have wondered how deeply golden-fried a clearly senile Biden would be if he'd been a drinker.

Odd thing #2 is that the Biden meeting was much longer than the pope's previous meetings with Orange Man Bad and the Lightbringer.  You can understand Pope Francis cutting short his meeting with The Donald — heck, Trump is the only American president ever to stand up for the unborn.  Socialist popes can't have that — no, sir!

But why would the pope spend so much time with the addled husk of Jill Biden's husband?  Was Biden that much more eloquent and interesting than St. Barry of Chi-town?  Unlikely.

The third strange item is Vatican photos that appear to show Biden wearing a blue suit and later, in the same meeting, wearing a black one.  Now, why would an old, feeble man need to change his pants?  As someone who's arrived at old and is fast approaching feeble, I know the answer, and it rhymes with Descartes.  And should someone wearing a suit accidentally Descartes, it takes a good while to get out of all those clothes, clean up the affected area, and totally re-dress.

Now, photos can lie or be altered, so we can't be sure of Biden's suit change, nor can we prove that the live TV feed was cut and the meeting ran long simply because Scranton Joe schiffed his pants.  I would give #PoopypantsBiden three stars instead of four, meaning it's highly likely but not definite that an old man in the throes of dementia had an accident.

Libs are absolutely losing their Schiff over the #1 hashtag on Twitter and have reliably come up with something phony and mendacious: a photo of The Donald golfing with an ominous stain on the seat of his white trousers.  I give this meme 0 stars, meaning it's a bald-faced lie.  How do I know?

Because if Trump had ever suffered an accidental Descartes in public, the photo would have been on the front page of the N.Y. Times, led every news story on CNN for four years, and been a full-color poster on "Spud" Stelter's wall.  Heck, the photographer who had captured the moment would have been awarded a Pulitzer Prize.  That's how you know that the Trump photo on Twitter is a fake.

#Shartgate, on the other hand, sure seems genuine and, in time, may even replace #LetsGoBrandon!

Image: Gage Skidmore.

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