Californicated

Just when you thought it might be safe to think of California as being rational....

California Governor, and Nancy Pelosi nephew, Gavin Newsom just approved two new “progressive” laws.

The first requires that all small gasoline engine lawn tools and similar equipment must be thrown away by 2024. Three years from now, all lawnmowers, hedge trimmers, chainsaws, lawn edgers, leaf blowers, and similar devices must be battery-powered. How they plan to mow a golf course with a battery-powered lawnmower is beyond me. Perhaps they will assemble a five-mower wide grouping of battery-powered lawnmowers and tow them behind a Tesla.

The engine-prohibition law also covers generators which are so necessary in California with its constantly failing electric grid. How they’re going to construct a battery-powered generator no one can understand, because if you already have electricity stored in batteries, why do you need to generate more? Apparently, seventh-grade General Science is a little bit beyond California legislators.

But that is not all. As a result of another stroke of legislative genius, all children’s toys in mass merchandisers or toy stores must be displayed in gender-neutral aisles. In other words, Barbie and her friends can no longer be displayed on pink-colored shelves. Boys’ toys must also be displayed in appropriately gender-neutral ways. They’ll probably paint all the toy shelves with a mix of pink and baby blue pigments to create a color very much like the purple favored by the transgender advocates.

I was about to write that this might have a negative effect on G.I. Joe toys sales but I’m sure the sale or possession of any toys having anything to do with either the military or firearms has been banned in the People’s Democratic Republic of California for decades.

So remember, if for some reason you are thinking of traveling to California for any reason whatsoever, remember, as the Amish would say, “they are simply not like the rest of us!”

Ed Sherdlu is the pen name of a former CBS television network reporter. He uses a pen name because his mother would be so embarrassed to know Ed’s 12-Step Journalism Recovery Program had been a failure.

Image: Gasoline-powered lawn mower—the newest California outlaw by Skitterphoto. CC0.

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