Virginia's Gov. Ralph 'Blackface' 'Coonman' Northam catches COVID
Bad news for Virginia Democrats: Gov. Ralph "Coonman" Northam and his wife Pam have tested positive for COVID-19.
For those unaware, "Coonman" was the sobriquet listed in Gov. Northam's medical school yearbook. Northam's yearbook entry also included a photo of two people at a costume party, one in blackface and one dressed in Ku Klux Klan regalia.
Now, the governor has admitted to being in the photo, but we don't know whether he was wearing the black make-up or the white hood.
If KKK hoods are in fact the governor's thing, they certainly didn't protect him from the Wuhan flu. As someone responsible for public health in Virginia, the guv should've known to wear an N-95 mask under his Klan hood!
Now, I know what Northam's excuse would be: it's hot enough under those damn hoods already without wearing a mask, too! Someone should send Northam some all-cotton pillowcases to try out, being as cotton breathes so much better than those polyester blends. Cotton-based fabric is also easier to cut with scissors when it's time to make holes for the eyes and mouth.
A case can likewise be made that Gov. Northam was the one wearing blackface in that yearbook photo. Democrats have pushed the notion that COVID-19 discriminates against minorities. Perhaps the governor and his missus were just relaxing one evening, wearing a little blackface and sipping gin and tonics on the veranda, and the coronavirus mistook them for minorities and attacked. It could in fact be a case of mistaken identity politics.
Regardless of whether Dr. and Mrs. Coonman...er, Northam got COVID-19 from Klan hoods or wearing blackface, the issue now is how best to treat them.
Treatment with hydroxychloroquine is definitely out because President Trump recommends it. The Democrat couple will simply have to go with a more expensive and much less effective drug regimen, thereby risking their lives.
What should health professionals do if, God forbid, the governor and his wife become extremely ill? Why, they should just follow Dr. Northam's own advice for treating newborns who somehow survive abortion attempts. The Northam medical team should deliver Ralph and Pam to a nice private room in a hospital and keep them comfortable. Gin and tonics would be comforting, as would a big bowl of Sensimilla. A little Diazepam certainly couldn't hurt.
The couple may also be resuscitated if their parents wish for that, allowing time for the Northams' parents and caregivers to have an in-depth medical discussion and decide on a proper course of action.
Having seen and been absolutely mortified by Dr. Ralph's medical school yearbook, Northam's parents would no doubt opt to let Coonman die. The jury's still out on how Pam's parents feel about her.
But what if Ralph's and Pam's parents are already deceased? What then? There'd be no one to make that crucial life-or-death decision, and their case would undoubtedly end up in the Supreme Court.
Luckily for the Northams, the Supreme Court's becoming increasingly pro-life.