Kamala Harris and the Dems' identity politics bingo

Democrats look to woo voters based on their candidates' ethnicity, skin color, and genitalia.  No care seems to be given as to whether political candidates are likely to be any good at representing their constituents, no, the only question is what specific voter groups will the candidate attract.

So it's easy to see why Hidin' Joe Biden won the presidential nomination: he carried Barack Obama's considerable baggage for eight long years.  While Sleepy Joe is as white as this page, he possesses a penumbra of blackness thanks to his long association with the first black president.  Biden's also as old as the hills, which attracts the considerable seasoned citizen and Depends-wearing voting blocs.  If folks suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's voted in significant numbers, Biden would surely get their votes, too, but they don't.

When the Democrat powers-that-be began looking for a running mate for Basement Biden — the only decision Old Joe makes is "pudding or apple sauce" — their prospective candidates' chances were based solely on unalterable characteristics not qualifications.

In one of his many random neural firings during the primary debates, Biden vowed to pick a V.P. with a cervix, uterus, ovaries, et al.  Now, you business-owners out there, do not try this at home.  Hiring employees based on whether they have a willy or a hoo-ha is a violation of federal law.  Unless you're a Democrat running for high office, it's simply illegal to do this.

As is his wont, Biden's also thrown out a bunch of racist crap, telling a black radio host he ain't black if he doesn't vote Democrat and asking a black reporter if he is a junkie.  This backed Fadin' Joe into a corner, forcing him to pick a black-skinned person with a v-jay-jay.  No surprise, then, that Biden...er, Biden's handlers picked the odious Kamala Harris as his V.P.  Dem voters can see Harris's pigmentation for themselves, and if they've any questions regarding her sex organs, they can just ask the adulterous former mayor of San Fran, Willie Brown.  What an ideal Democrat V.P. candidate, by the way — a former prosecutor and attorney general to lead the "Defund the Po-Po" party.  Harris is gonna need a flak jacket and roller skates to get around her law-and-order past.

Clearly, the Dems now have the perfect ticket to attract black, female, and demented voters.  But think of the many missed opportunities other candidates would have provided.  Beto O'Rourke would have brought in the fake Hispanic voters, Crazy Bernie would have attracted all the communists, and Elizabeth Warren would have been catnip for every 1/1024 Indian out there.  Mayor Pete would have appealed to all 63 genders, Amy Klobuchar would have garnered the narcoleptic vote, and comely Tulsi Gabbard would have gotten the undivided attention of every bipedal, carbon-based life form possessing a prostate and a pulse.

But, sadly, you can pander only so much.  As biracial Barack Obama proved, you can't be everything to everybody.  So that's the matchup in November: voters interested in the welfare of America versus voters interested only in black, female, and undeniably senile candidates.  Vote accordingly.

Image credit: Pete Rimar, licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

Democrats look to woo voters based on their candidates' ethnicity, skin color, and genitalia.  No care seems to be given as to whether political candidates are likely to be any good at representing their constituents, no, the only question is what specific voter groups will the candidate attract.

So it's easy to see why Hidin' Joe Biden won the presidential nomination: he carried Barack Obama's considerable baggage for eight long years.  While Sleepy Joe is as white as this page, he possesses a penumbra of blackness thanks to his long association with the first black president.  Biden's also as old as the hills, which attracts the considerable seasoned citizen and Depends-wearing voting blocs.  If folks suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's voted in significant numbers, Biden would surely get their votes, too, but they don't.

When the Democrat powers-that-be began looking for a running mate for Basement Biden — the only decision Old Joe makes is "pudding or apple sauce" — their prospective candidates' chances were based solely on unalterable characteristics not qualifications.

In one of his many random neural firings during the primary debates, Biden vowed to pick a V.P. with a cervix, uterus, ovaries, et al.  Now, you business-owners out there, do not try this at home.  Hiring employees based on whether they have a willy or a hoo-ha is a violation of federal law.  Unless you're a Democrat running for high office, it's simply illegal to do this.

As is his wont, Biden's also thrown out a bunch of racist crap, telling a black radio host he ain't black if he doesn't vote Democrat and asking a black reporter if he is a junkie.  This backed Fadin' Joe into a corner, forcing him to pick a black-skinned person with a v-jay-jay.  No surprise, then, that Biden...er, Biden's handlers picked the odious Kamala Harris as his V.P.  Dem voters can see Harris's pigmentation for themselves, and if they've any questions regarding her sex organs, they can just ask the adulterous former mayor of San Fran, Willie Brown.  What an ideal Democrat V.P. candidate, by the way — a former prosecutor and attorney general to lead the "Defund the Po-Po" party.  Harris is gonna need a flak jacket and roller skates to get around her law-and-order past.

Clearly, the Dems now have the perfect ticket to attract black, female, and demented voters.  But think of the many missed opportunities other candidates would have provided.  Beto O'Rourke would have brought in the fake Hispanic voters, Crazy Bernie would have attracted all the communists, and Elizabeth Warren would have been catnip for every 1/1024 Indian out there.  Mayor Pete would have appealed to all 63 genders, Amy Klobuchar would have garnered the narcoleptic vote, and comely Tulsi Gabbard would have gotten the undivided attention of every bipedal, carbon-based life form possessing a prostate and a pulse.

But, sadly, you can pander only so much.  As biracial Barack Obama proved, you can't be everything to everybody.  So that's the matchup in November: voters interested in the welfare of America versus voters interested only in black, female, and undeniably senile candidates.  Vote accordingly.

Image credit: Pete Rimar, licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.