List of crimes, 2040

Today, leftists are playing the "cancel history" game to destroy statues of those who owned slaves in the past, when slavery was legal.  But what will our descendents say about us in the future — say in the year 2040, when we will all be hyper-woke or even post-hyper-woke?  Here are a few behaviors we all engage in today that could be considered illegal in the future.

  • Eating meat 
  • Criticizing [leftist] politicians 
  • Owning a pet
  • Driving a gasoline-powered vehicle  
  • Growing vegetables in your backyard
  • Holding a barbecue
  • Celebrating the 4th of July
  • Holding a meeting of more than ten people
  • Flying the American Flag
  • Owning a Bible
  • Watching a classic movie
  • Going to the beach
  • Reading from the Great Books
  • Telling an ethnic joke
  • Complimenting a woman on her appearance
  • Visiting a national park or monument 
  • Singing or laughing
  • Participating in a Shakespeare festival
  • Getting a haircut or manicure
  • Heating/cooling your home
  • Expressing patriotism
  • Voting Republican
  • Going outside
  • Being quiet  
  • Being white

Oops — actually, most of these are already illegal or subject to electronic guillotining today.  Welcome to America, 2020.

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