Accusing President Trump of bank robbery

The following did not happen.  It's all a lie.

A man named Joe looked over his bank statement and found what he believed to be an error.  He wasn't sure, but he thought his balance should be more than the statement reflected.

So he went to the bank and discussed the matter with the bank manager.

The bank manager said, "So you think the bank owes you money."

"Yes."

"Wait here."

A short time later, the bank manager returned, in the company of two police officers.  "Arrest this man.  He tried to rob the bank."

Joe was arrested.  He protested.  "No, I was not trying to rob the bank.  I was just disputing my balance."

"But you wanted to get money from the bank."

"Well, yes, if I am owed it."

"Then you tried to rob the bank."

"No, I did not."

"Your denial is an attempt to obstruct justice."

"I just want the correct balance on my account."

"No, you tried to rob the bank.  The evidence is overwhelming."

"What evidence?"

"You do know, sir, that bank robbery is illegal."

"But I wasn't —"

"And you are not above the law."

"I know that, but —"

"This is a sad day in the history of our bank.  We deeply regret having to charge you with trying to rob it."

"But —"

"Thousands of years of history have established the importance of honesty.  Why don't you believe in history?"

"But —"

"George Washington and Thomas Jefferson clearly had you in mind when they established the rule of law in this nation."

"But —"

"We are deeply religious, and we take seriously the commandment, Thou Shalt Not Steal."

"But —"

"We infer that you intended to rob the bank."

"I did not rob anyone or anything.  How can you interpret my actions as robbery?"

"You can name your son Rob, but that does not allow you to rob."

The following did not happen.  It's all a lie.

A man named Joe looked over his bank statement and found what he believed to be an error.  He wasn't sure, but he thought his balance should be more than the statement reflected.

So he went to the bank and discussed the matter with the bank manager.

The bank manager said, "So you think the bank owes you money."

"Yes."

"Wait here."

A short time later, the bank manager returned, in the company of two police officers.  "Arrest this man.  He tried to rob the bank."

Joe was arrested.  He protested.  "No, I was not trying to rob the bank.  I was just disputing my balance."

"But you wanted to get money from the bank."

"Well, yes, if I am owed it."

"Then you tried to rob the bank."

"No, I did not."

"Your denial is an attempt to obstruct justice."

"I just want the correct balance on my account."

"No, you tried to rob the bank.  The evidence is overwhelming."

"What evidence?"

"You do know, sir, that bank robbery is illegal."

"But I wasn't —"

"And you are not above the law."

"I know that, but —"

"This is a sad day in the history of our bank.  We deeply regret having to charge you with trying to rob it."

"But —"

"Thousands of years of history have established the importance of honesty.  Why don't you believe in history?"

"But —"

"George Washington and Thomas Jefferson clearly had you in mind when they established the rule of law in this nation."

"But —"

"We are deeply religious, and we take seriously the commandment, Thou Shalt Not Steal."

"But —"

"We infer that you intended to rob the bank."

"I did not rob anyone or anything.  How can you interpret my actions as robbery?"

"You can name your son Rob, but that does not allow you to rob."