The Starbucks race relations revival show

People do change, but the corrective rate is uncommonly slow and subject to regression.  Starbucks's presentation of a national anti-racial bias training webinar did not see any river washings followed by congregants professing their newfound faith, but then we are way too sophisticated for that sort of thing.

Still, there remains more than a clammy whiff of that Old Time Religion wafting through the tent as liberalism immodestly codifies its sacred precepts.  First on the hymn board is "Hey, Morgan Freeman, Come to God."

Then Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson, who ordered the anti-racial bias training session after a painstakingly distilled drop of implicit bias was found in one of the millions of gallons of coffee his thousands of employees serve daily, will probably kick off the day's training activities.  These activities are mostly online, so everybody can be certain that this is all way more modern than it might look.

Starbucks will not allow members of the general public to see the eye-opening event.  This redaction is explained by one Dr. Nsenga K. Burton.  He said, "An important part of discussing sensitive topics like race, class, gender and sexuality is creating safe spaces for open dialogue.  You cannot accomplish that goal with people external to the exercise disrupting these safe spaces."  Dr. Burton is an "expert on the intersection of race, class, gender and sexuality and media."  You have to admit, that's a big intersection. 

When you were young and were implicitly reading Huckleberry Finn, did you ever wonder why Miss Watson took Huck into the closet to clean his soul?  Here is the passage: "Miss Watson she took me in the closet and prayed, but nothing come of it.  She told me to pray every day, and whatever I asked for I would get it.  But it warn't so.  I tried it.  Once I got a fish-line, but no hooks.  It warn't any good to me without hooks.  I tried for the hooks three or four times, but somehow I couldn't make it work.  By and by, one day, I asked Miss Watson to try for me, but she said I was a fool."

Today we know that Miss Watson was a pioneering intersectionalist and that Dr. Burton may be utilizing her best practices. 

But Huck was the fool.  Watson and Burton would both say so.  Every wise ruler needs a fool to slap around. 

This Memorial Day weekend, some 28 people in Chicago were fooled into thinking they were shot, and nine of them were foolish enough to die.

On Tuesday, the Starbuckians weren't engaging in an open dialogue about what happens when a loaded implicit bias intersects with a verifiably non-safe space.

That's because you can't make sense of what's senseless by loading on another helping of senseless.