What kind of men are attracted to electric cars?
I was listening to an NPR report on the Chevy Bolt, an electric car that is very reasonably priced (if you're a millionaire). But the thing that struck me was how most of the people being interviewed, the people who were interested or knowledgeable about electric cars, were mostly very effeminate-sounding men.
The men interviewed spoke in soft, hushed tones, speaking almost musically, as if their voices had been "auto-tuned" like a Britney Spears song. And they stretched out certain vowel sounds to give an especially feminine lilt to their voices, saying things like:
I like the fact I'm not pollu-taaang...
The drop in prices has flipped the market on its heeeead...
It's not just environmental groups saaaying this, that really encouuuraging...
...Making technoooology not just for cars in the You-Esss...
So the question has to be asked: why are effeminate men attracted to electric cars?
I think, like some ladies, effeminate men want a car that's small and petite. Electric cars are much smaller than normal gas-powered vehicles in the same price range. They often have smaller steering wheels, so men with smaller hands can more easily grip them.
Another factor is that effeminate men are used to being cowed by more aggressive, masculine men, and their choice of car also reflects that. They choose a little lightweight vehicle, which, if it wants to survive, has to wiggle out of the way of larger cars (driven by masculine men) in traffic. Effeminate men, used to being dominated in person, prefer a car that allows them to also be dominated in traffic.
And then there is the bondage appeal of small electric cars that keep them on a tight leash. With a much more limited driving range, electric cars give effeminate men more of a sense of being controlled. They get the feeling not just of riding the car but of being ridden themselves, in an odd sort of bondage to the limited battery of their vehicle and the limited availability of charging stations.
Parking is another reason effeminate men like electric cars. Electric cars are smaller and allow effeminate men to park themselves in spaces smaller and tighter than any normal driver would even dream of putting his vehicle into. Imagine a small space between a brown Cadillac and a large, black SUV with the biggest bumper you've ever seen. A feminine electric car owner might relish the challenge of maneuvering his vehicle back and forth into such a tight space between two so ruggedly masculine cars.
Do you know anyone who has an electric vehicle? Are they ladies, men, or something in between?
Ed Straker is the senior writer at NewsMachete.com.