What's missing from Hillary Clinton's website?

I'm a big supporter of women and girls. And since those two words comprise about 25% of Hillary Clinton's vocabulary, it seemed natural to me to go to her website to see what I could do to help.  But when I went to Mrs. Clinton's website, I was surprised to find something missing.

No, not photos of Bill.  They even found a representative one of Bill looking down her shirt.

The thing that was missing from her website are policy positions.  What are her positions on the issues?  There isn't a clue.  There isn't even a statement on why she wants to become president.  It's as if it's an unexpected question.

So I went into her bio, the only part of her website that had some content, to see if I could figure out what Hillary is about.

The website talks about Hillary's accomplishments as a senator from New York.  It says she got money for 9/11 relief, which is nice, and also launched a partnership with eBay to provide tech support for small businesses, which sounds meaningless.  She also launched some kind of program to help farmers sell their food to restaurants, as if farmers couldn't do that without her help.  And that's it.  Those are her great accomplishments as a senator for eight years.  Those are the big issues she championed.

And then here's what she wrote about her time as Secretary of State:

After eight years of Bush foreign policy, Hillary was instrumental in starting to restore America’s standing in the world.

Really?  Is there a country in the Middle East that we haven't alienated?  Does Russia respect us?  Does China?  Does anyone?

And by the way, is it really okay for Hillary's website to call her "Hillary"?  Doesn't the media call other people who do that sexist?

She built a coalition for tough new sanctions against Iran that brought them to the negotiating table ...

And how has that worked out? Iran is on the verge of getting sanctions lifted while still continuing to enrich uranium.

... and she brokered a ceasefire between Israel and Hamas that ended a war and protected Israel’s security.

How does keeping Hamas in charge of the Gaza Strip enhance Israel's security?  It continues to threaten it.

 She was a forceful champion for human rights, internet freedom, and rights and opportunities for women and girls, LGBT people and young people all around the globe.

Should anything in the sentence above appeal to heterosexual men?  I read it twice; I just want to be sure I'm not missing anything.

Curiously absent from her descriptions of her years at State was the fiasco that led to the deaths of the embassy officials in Libya.  And the rise of ISIS, and the new aggressiveness of Russia.  Her main accomplishments seem to be issuing press releases with the words "women and girls, women and girls" in them over and over.

I can't imagine that any of this is a compelling reason to vote for her.

So what is her reason for running for president? I can only think the unspoken assumption is that she is like Cersei Lannister, the wife of the king, and that she is entitled to be king, too.

By the way, her website also comes in Spanish, in a clever move to appeal to the growing pool of illegal alien voters.  I guess we should feel gratified, for now, that we don't yet have to press 1 on our keyboards to see the website in English.

This article was produced by NewsMachete.com, the conservative news site.

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