A Helpful Suggestion for The Late Show

Poor David Letterman. No matter what he does, from innuendo about Bristol Palin to his own sex scandal, he just can't seem to beat the even less amusing Jay Leno in the competition for pole position in the late night ratings.

Have I got an idea for him! Not only would this idea be ratings gold, it would give Letterman the opportunity to contribute to the cause of freedom around the world.

It seems that president Barack Obama cannot make time on his schedule to meet with Israeli prime minister Bibi Netanyahu. In the meantime, Iran continues to ramp up its threats to blow Israel off of the map as well as its nuclear arsenal. The Middle East burns as a U.S. ambassador and other Americans are assassinated on what is, or should be, considered sovereign soil. Obama cannot meet with Netanyahu under these circumstances. He has important engagements in Las Vegas, on the campaign trail, and skipping out on intelligence briefings.

Most importantly, the White House announced that Obama is scheduled to appear on "The Late Show" with David Letterman on CBS next week.

Letterman is a late night host and as such does not generally mimic daytime talk shows. While the genre has been likely played out for a while now, daytime talk show hosts such as Jerry Springer and Maury Povich enjoyed alarming "unsuspecting" guests on their shows with former lovers, baby-mama accusers, and perhaps transgendered family members so that the audiences could howl and hoot at their dysfunction and misfortune.

Letterman can take this to the next level by surprising Obama during his appearance with someone whose presence would alarm and disturb him:

LETTERMAN: Do you like surprises, Mr. President?

POTUS: Well, uh, I, I, certainly, if, uh, I, well, Michelle has to, I mean, Valerie should...

LETTERMAN: We here at the "Late Show" have tracked down an old friend of yours. You haven't seen him for a few months but we know you'll be excited to see him. Mr. President, give a warm welcome to one of your greatest friends, Israeli prime minister Bibi Netanyahu!

POTUS: I, uh, I, I, I, I, I, I can't, uh, believe, you, uh, did...

LETTERMAN: Here he is, welcome, Prime Minister Netanyahu!

POTUS: Can, uh, we, uh, go to, uh, I'm Barack Obama, and I don't, uh, approve this message.

Stupid, right? Juvenile. Unprofessional. Unserious. This imagined scenario is so ridiculous that it perfectly reflects the state of the world and the state of the Obama presidency.

So go for it, Dave. You can help yourself in the race against Leno. You can help the cause of freedom by forcing Obama to face the leader of the free world in person. If you are worried about embarrassing the president of the United States, do not worry. Barack Obama has no shame.

Matthew May welcomes comments at may.matthew.t@gmail.com