Imagine...John Lennon was a conservative

Imagine peace, say the liberals. Conservatives prefer to deal with the world as it is. But if I had to imagine.....

I imagine Obama spending the Christmas holidays reading nothing but military history but worry how he'll react when he discovers that the typical purpose of war is victory.

I imagine carbon tax credits offered to those citizens who consume the most fuel and emit the most CO2, because new data previously hidden by Professor Mann and discovered by the UN shows world temperatures plunging and an ice age imminent.

I imagine that Mrs. Tiger Woods and Mrs. Elliot Spitzer will meet and commiserate about where their marriages went wrong, while checking their husbands' cell phones for common names.

I imagine that Ezekiel Emmanuel will put his brother Rahm to death using the Complete Lives System to justify the fact that it's simply too expensive for the Obama administration to keep him around.

I imagine that that Andrew Sullivan and Frank Rich will marry, move in together and adopt a young Russian girl named Sarah.

I imagine George W. Bush invited to a mass swearing in ceremony for the republican-led 112th Congress holding up a sign that reads, "Mission Accomplished."

I imagine a joint statement from the Muslim leaders of all 57 Islamic nations, stating that they recognize the sacred roles of Judaism and Christianity and invite all religions to practice freely in their countries. Then I realize I've lost my mind, and could lose my head.

I imagine oil and gas rigs populating the entire coast of California, but then realize that they'd all be owned by China.

I imagine moving to Texas with the 40% of the country who classify themselves as conservative, all of us settling on more than one acre apiece.

And I do truly imagine Peace on Earth! Good will towards men! And women, gays, lesbians, transgenders and bisexuals, regardless of race or national origin!

Claude can be reached at