WASHINGTON (Satire Wire) - Speaking at the White House this morning, President Barack Obama announced to reporters that, in lieu of his receiving a speaker's fee for his giving the commencement address there on May 17, the Federal government would be acquiring a controlling interest in Notre Dame University. Mr. Obama was responding to recent reports that Notre Dame has so far lost $13.9 million in canceled bequests and donations as a result of that Catholic institution's plan to award the pro-choice President an honorary degree at its graduation ceremony. He said the Federal government had to "step up to the plate" to help Notre Dame and other private colleges and universities compensate for reduced alumni giving in troubled economic times. The infusion is part of a new White House initiative called Grants to Remake All Society's Priorities or GRASP. As with the TARP program, which targets banks, all colleges and universities...(Read Full Post)