The smoker-in-chief (Updated)

It's been a long time since we've had a smoker in the White House. The media, of course, never really got around to telling the American public that the Democratic candidate for president was a nicotine addict. Even now, they prefer to write stories about his 45 minute daily work outs, and how awesomely lean and fit he is. But the plain fact is that the President first smokerhas a nicotine jones, and can't get the monkey off his back. Having the responsibilities of the presidency on his shoulders isn't going to make it any easier to give up the coffin nails.

No less an authority than the National Enquirer reports that Obama will have to sneak out onto the White House lawn to enjoy a nice long relaxing drag on a cig. Michelle has been on his case to quit for a long time already, and apparently forbids smoking indoors. He is said to worry about his mother-in-law Marian Robinson moving into the White House as babysitter because she will rat him out to her daughter when she sees him lighting up.

Since the president is the leader of the country, and since Obama has inspired so many youths, it is clear that his smoking habit threatens to make smoking cool again. Let's face it, his addiction is not just a personal problem, it is public health issue. He is a role model, and right now he is modeling helpless servitude to a tobacco habit.

Since Barack Obama made transparency a solemn promise, the White House Press Secretary needs to issue a daily smoking update on how many cigarettes the president smoked the previous day. At a minimum, the press should be asking this question at the daily press briefings.

For the children.

Illustration by Big Fur Hat of iOWNTHEWORLD.

Update - Rosslyn Smith writes:

Maybe Obama should try this way of getting his nicotine fix.
Chewing tobacco
No problems with second hand smoke or forcing the White House maintenance staff to shampoo the carpets, upholstery and draperies on a more frequent basis.   There are several forms available, including one that is entirely dissolvable, eliminating the need to spit.  Furthermore, because modern chewing tobacco comes in many of the same mint, spice and fruit flavors as Altoids, Obama wouldn't have to worry about the smell of it on his breath betraying his secret to the women in his life.