Well, Osama is now toasted crispbread without hummus, it now seems. The "new" Osama tape, US officials have said, was first aired five years ago.
Al Qaeda is just showing five-year-old reruns of the great Sheikh Bin Laden. Dr. Al Zawahiri, the Egyptian Salafist, must now be running the Evil Empire. Or to change the metaphor, the head of the octopus is stone dead, gone, definitely deceased, he's bleedin' demised, gone to meet 'is maker and joined the bleedin' choir invisible. But pieces of his tentacles live on around the world, whipped up by media-fed videos from somewhere deep in Waziristan.
This is good news, even for the liberals among us. Consider the fact that Osama Bin Laden is no longer breathing, and therefore not adding CO2 to the atmosphere. Every bit helps, and just as a drop in cattle out-gassings helps to Save the Planet, according to the Gorean Prophecy, so every human being who gives up the ghost makes his (or her) very personal contribution.
Thank you, Osama. May you soon be joined by all the Qaedists, Talibanis, Hamastan child-abusers, Hezbullahites, El Qud-chewers, Salafists, Wahhabis, Iranian Khomeiniacs and murderous head-choppers of every new stripe. Thank you, thank you for helping to Save the Planet.
Who's next? Don't crowd in line, your virgins are awaiting, and they are patient.