Romney's Going to Win

After viewing Wednesday's presidential debate, I continue to strongly disagree with the polls and with the conservative crowd who assume that this election is far from over.

The election's been over for a while -- only not in favor of the current president, which has been the meme of the mainstream media for months now.

Obama is toast, so Mr. Romney, sir, let me be the first to call you, in print, "Mr. President."  Remember that when you get my application for a communications job in your administration.

Wednesday's debate revealed that Obama isn't the greatest orator of modern times, as he so arrogantly believes and as many dubbed him.  He was defensive, hesitant, and ill at ease, and he spent most of the evening mouthing one lie after another about his record and Romney's proposals.

I wasn't surprised.  Obama's the equivalent of a basketball player who has a "sweet spot" on the court where he's virtually unstoppable.  The best example is Kareem Abdul Jabbar and his famous "sky hook," the deadliest shot in NBA history.  The key to stopping Kareem was to deny him his "sweet spot" before he set up there and launched it.

Obama's "sweet spot" is in front of a teleprompter.  When he's there, he's the silver-tongued lothario that slickly seduced a nation into electing him president four years ago.  But when he's sans teleprompter and forced to speak extemporaneously, he's all "ums" and "ahs," displaying all the rhetorical skills and command of the facts available to Mushmouth, the blubbering, slack-jawed simpleton from the cartoon "Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids."  Obama just dresses better.

For those still obsessing over the polls, Obama's performance should put some of your fears to rest.  However, don't be surprised if Obama's six-billion-point lead over Romney doubles in the polls over the next few days.  Ignore them, and ignore especially Karl Rove's weekly Electoral College map update on Fox News.  I know Rove is on our side and Fox News is "fair and balanced," but I can't think of anything designed to depress poll-watching conservatives more.

By now everyone needs to be made aware of the flawed turnout models of most polls.  The flaw is the assumption that Democrats will vote in the same numbers this year as they did in 2008.  That's being intentionally done in an effort to give Obama the edge.  Polls are the equivalent of talking trash in a basketball game, to continue with the earlier sports analogy.  Players do it not just to berate, but also to up their chances of winning by instilling doubt in the opposition -- in this case, by installing doubt in the minds of big-dollar campaign contributors who will cut off funds to Romney if they sense that he's losing badly.  And the pollsters and media know that.

I was a lousy basketball player, and I know when someone is talking trash.  I was always the last player picked, and then only to round out the sides.  I was told if the ball came my way not to dribble it, pass it, or shoot it.  Just hold it until one of my teammates came to get it.  On those rare occasions when the ball did come my way, it would sail past me into the backcourt.  The other team would retrieve it and score an easy two.  My teammates would commence talking trash to compensate for my shortcomings as a player, and it usually worked.  We won more often than not.  Ninety-five percent of winning is believing you will.

Only the most partisan Republicans believed we would win in 2008.  I didn't.  The odds were stacked against us.  The nation was tired of Bush.  In McCain we had a candidate who was inarticulate and afraid to aggressively confront Obama for fear of being called "racist."  Democrats were blessed with a candidate who knew that all he had to do was stand there with sharply creased trousers, not make any major gaffes, and look telegenic.  It was over before it started.

The Afro Sheen is off the Obamassiah.  The bloom is off the Wild Irish Rose of his presidency.  There's nothing cool about the wisps of the mentholated Kools cigarette of his persona anymore.  (If you didn't get those last three jokes, run them past any black person older than 40.)  I couldn't be more confident of a Romney win than I am now.  It's time to start filling out my White House job application.

The Drive-By Pundit is the pen name of Perry Drake, author of two recently published e-books, The Book of Racist Democrat Quotes and "Democratic N****r!": The Long, Racist, Bloody, Account of the Democrat Party's Hatred for Blacks.  Both are available on  Perry can be reached at, on Facebook, and on Twitter @Perry_Drake.