I never touch Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, an aversion that goes back long before I got disgusted with the politics that its co-founders—Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, two Jewish kids from Long Island—espouse. I like my ice cream exquisitely simple (cream, whole milk, quality Dutch cocoa, egg yolks, a little white and a little brown sugar, a little vanilla, and a little almond extract = paradise). For that reason, I’ve always considered Ben & Jerry’s to be overly complicated, poisonously sweet glop.

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And then there were the politics. There are no leftist political issues that Ben & Jerry’s ice cream won’t advance. Over the years, Ben & Jerry’s ice cream has been used to promote myriad “social justice” causes:

In 2009, there was “Yes, Pecan!”, an ice cream intended to celebrate the great lightbringer, Barack Obama. Ironically, the ice cream was a very white vanilla ice cream with little brown specks of pecan in it. Someone at Ben & Jerry’s really didn’t think that one through.

In 2015, when the Supreme Court found an imaginary right to same-sex marriage in the Constitution, Ben & Jerry’s renamed their glutinous Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough to “I Dough I Dough.”

Also in 2015, to bring attention to climate change (‘cause no one had paid attention to the issue before), Ben & Jerry’s came out with “Save Our Swirled.” And you’re right that the name makes no sense.

Four years later, the company produced “Justice Re-Mixed,” a flavor intended to highlight the fact that America’s criminal justice system was “broken” because of “structural racism.” (This time, the glop content came from attempting to turn ice cream into a cinnamon bun.)

In 2022, Ben & Jerry’s took it upon itself to encourage black voter turnout with “Change is Brewing” ice cream. The ice cream was coffee-flavored (brewing? Get it?). Anything to help Joe Biden, right?

All this ice cream-based political activity took place under the Unilever umbrella because the multinational corporation purchased Ben & Jerry’s in 2000 for a cool $326 million. (If you’re like me, you wonder how much of that money Cohen and Greenfield donated to the federal government to bring down the debt or used to fund non-political charities that actually help people.)

Part of the deal, though, was that Ben & Jerry’s could continue to have an “independent” board. What Unilever may not have realized was that this independence would extend beyond ice cream flavors and carton designs and, instead, move into the realm of international politics. Thus, Unilever was not pleased when Ben & Jerry’s decided to boycott the West Bank. The Ben & Jerry’s logic seemed to be that no Muslims can have ice cream until the region is Judenrein (the Nazi word for an area purged of its Jews).

Since then, the Dutch conglomerate and its subsidiary have been at war—but Ben Cohen isn’t going to let that stop him. After accusing Unilever of refusing to make a Palestinian-themed ice cream—because nothing says “enjoy ice cream” like raping Jewish women, massacring Jewish men, women, and children, and keeping Jewish hostages imprisoned underground for two years—Cohen is going out on his own:

As I said, I don’t know if Cohen lives in New York City. He may still live in Vermont, where he and Greenfield founded the ice cream brand.

However, for those wondering who are the Jews voting for the virulently antisemitic Zohran Mamdani, the answer is these Jews, people so committed to communist ideology that they will march themselves to the gas chamber in the name of Marxist purity.