One of my former best friends used to have a bumper sticker that read: “When seconds matter, the police are minutes away.” (She drove a Prius, and couldn’t stomach the idea that anyone might think her a Democrat.) It was an advertisement for an organization known as the AZCDL, or Arizona Citizens Defense League, and I always thought it was one of the more profound statements I’ve ever read—on a bumper sticker no less! It’s a phrase that sticks in your brain the moment you read it, and it conveys the seriousness of life and death and the right to self defense in just eight short words.

It’s such an easy concept to grasp, even a knuckle-dragger can’t escape the logic.

Well, I guess Democrats are officially dumber than the lowest of low-IQ individuals, because according to a new report from the New York Post, New York City mayor Eric Adams is supplying 500 bodegas with “panic buttons” in an attempt to curb the violent crime engulfing the city:

The city will spend $1.6 million to put panic buttons in hundreds of bodegas after a string of recent violent deli incidents, Mayor Eric Adams announced Sunday.

Up to 500 of the devices will be installed in stores in ‘hotspot’ crime areas throughout the five boroughs in the coming weeks, said Adams and members of the United Bodega Association at a Sunday press conference outside Pamela Green Deli in The Bronx.

The buttons will connect directly to the NYPD’s central command center, bypassing traditional 911 dispatchers to reduce response times, the mayor said.

The article also notes that it won’t be made public which bodegas are getting the devices, so “no one knows who would actually have a device or not,” which Adams says gives an “omnipresent” sense to would-be criminals, and brings the “element of surprise” for which he’s looking.

Adams’s obliviousness is wildly ironic, and it’s painful to listen to him. If you’re like me, your mind went to… WHAT ABOUT SIMPLY NOT INFRINGING ON THE SECOND AMENDMENT AND ALLOWING BODEGA OWNERS TO EXERCISE THEIR RIGHT TO SELF-DEFENSE? New York has notoriously unconstitutional gun laws. And, as a side note, I was just in Manhattan around Christmas, and there were “gun free zone” signs all over Times Square—I wonder how many of these “hotspot” bodegas fall in the newest “gun free” boundary? And, I know you’ll never believe this, but the shooting “near Times Square” the other day? It was smack-dab in the middle of the “gun free” zone, having occurred at 47th and 7th.

Oh, and the pilot program behind this initiative failed, as “response times were … inconsistent because of poor integration with police headquarters…” Naturally, to a government official, the logical response is to expand the initiative.

The additional offense in all of this is that Adams is using taxpayer dollars to fund it. It’s not even just a stupid bodega owner buying a panic button on his own volition, which is an offense to intelligence everywhere: calling a man with a gun and waiting for him to show up when you could just be the man with a gun? Doesn’t really make sense.

Hey Mayor Adams, have you ever considered what we like to call “efficiency,” like cutting out the middle man? Of course you didn’t—you’re government, the very worst type of middle man. Why give bodega owners and workers the freedom to carry a firearm, so criminals can just assume every bodega is staffed by armed employees, when you can just charge the taxpayers to fund panic buttons that will call a man with a firearm (“inconsistently” of course), who has to get into his car, and get through New York City traffic to reach you?

Image: Free image, Pixabay license.