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PrintApril 30, 2025
Yes, J.B. Pritzker is running for president: Time to make him a figure of fun
Q. What’s the 2028 version of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris?
A. J.B. Pritzker and Stacey Abrams. Their campaign slogan is Make America Morbidly Obese Again.
Pritzker has subtly, but very clearly called for political violence against Republicans. He deliberately timed this call for the first week of warm weather in the Chicago area. And there’s really no telling what will happen this weekend, or the rest of the summer, as a result.
We have a president who was targeted by active shooters — not once, but twice. He was actually shot once. There have been many other credible threats against Donald Trump’s life, including a plot by the Iranian regime.
Clearly, we live in a period of increased political violence and volatility, due almost entirely to Black Lives Matter, Antifa and other Democrat-aligned groups. Democrats will fire back about Jan. 6, but there’s more and more evidence that that was a deliberate set-up by elements that were (and remain) hostile to Republicans.
Besides, that was one genuinely “mostly peaceful protest” that got a little bit out of hand. BLM and Antifa spearheaded at least 700 bona fide riots in the summer of 2020, with more than 25 people killed, over 1000 police officers injured, and billions of dollars in damage.
In his statement, Pritzker didn’t say or do anything to discourage violence. Clearly, he wants the summer of 2025 to be another “Summer of Love,” as the Democratic governor of Washington described the summer of 2020.
Following is how we should be expressing displeasure with our political opponents in America. As Saul Alinsky pointed out, the most potent political weapon is ridicule.
* * * * * * *
Regarding Gov. J.B. Pritzker, I’m an Illinois taxpayer and the costs of supporting this guy are bankrupting us. He insists on truckloads of the finest foods, and tailored shirts and suits made with acres (not yards) of expensive fabrics. (The tailor’s tags read “Peoria Tent & Awning.”)
Even one of his silk neckties, when wrapped around a Skinny Mini supermodel, would make an entire outfit — and a bold fashion statement. And every year, we have to replace the rear suspensions of an entire fleet of bulletproof limousines.
This is getting to be too expensive for Illinois. Here’s hoping the rest of the country can share the expenses, but not by electing him president. God forbid. Can we start a GoFundMe account instead?
This is where the current focus on Trump’s alleged height and weight by the lunatic left-wing fringe will backfire horribly. I’m seeing memes that place an unflattering photo of Trump next to an NFL star who looks like a black version of Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime, and is allegedly the same height and weight as Trump.
I simply cannot wait for the memes about Pritzker’s height and weight, if such details ever become public knowledge. Perhaps I should click on my AI account and create a few of my own.
“A Concerned Blogger Interviews J.D. Pritzker.” Image created using Grok AI.
This brings us to Bill Daley. He seems to be the only member of the Chicago Daley clan who didn’t occupy the mayor’s office for decades. Instead, he ran Al Gore’s challenge to the 2000 presidential election results, then served in Obama’s chief of staff rotation.
According to Daley, Pritzker is definitely running for president. The only thing in doubt is whether he’ll seek another term as governor next year, before his big plunge into the 2028 race.
Let’s take a good look at this candidate. On the plus side, he could be hell on wheels in a debate, if the organizers allow the contestants to do the debate while sitting down.
On the minus side, Pritzker suffers badly from Gavin Newsom Syndrome. He’s turned a once prosperous state into a place where the most productive workers are packing their family heirlooms into U-Hauls, and Democrats are frantically importing hordes of illegal immigrants to avoid the loss of congressional seats and Electoral College votes.
And he’s doing this to Illinois the same way Newsom did it to California: outrageous taxes and fees, and nutball left-wing policy decisions. But he lacks Newsom’s magnificent hair and somewhat toned physique.
In fact, Newsom’s pencil neck looks good by comparison. Pritzker has no neck.
The optics of Pritzker shaking hands with J.D. Vance, Ted Cruz or Ron DeSantis at the start of a debate would be most unfortunate. But he does have plenty of time to slim down to avoid such a debacle, and I’d be happy to serve as his personal trainer. (Insert evil laughter here.)
“Hey, Honey? Where did you put that Marine drill instructor costume I wore for Halloween?”
Jim Davis is an IT specialist and paralegal, with degrees in political science and statistical analysis: the underpinning of all science. His work has appeared in Newsmax and Daily Caller. You can find him as RealProfessor219 on Rumble.
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