Chuck Schumer splits the atom and discovers ‘chaos’ is a five-letter word

By Olivia Murray

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Well, we’ve finally surpassed the 100th day of the Trump 2.0 administration, and Chuck Schumer thinks he’s on to something. Here’s a quote, from his yammering monologue on the Senate floor yesterday:

I think if you asked Americans to pick one word that describes Donald Trump’s economy and how he’s handling it, it would be one word, a five-letter word: chaos. Another five-letter word is Trump. Chaos equals Trump. Trump equals chaos.

Well, here are some other five letter words that seem to be a better fit for the “chaos” in the economy:

Chuck, as in Chuck Schumer, who has facilitated more than thirty years of chaos, and who layers cheese on raw burger:

(Does it get more chaotic than that?)

Nancy, as in Nancy Pelosi, who’s participated in economic chaos for almost forty years.

Obama, as in Barack Obama (or Michael—I mean “Michelle”), a student of Alinskyite chaos, whose eight years of wickedness laid utter waste to healthy race relations and reoriented the course of the federal government to the much more rapid adoption of socialism and communism.

And of course… Biden, as in Joe Biden, a man thoroughly one with chaos. Chaos marred his personal life and his presidential runs, two of which he dropped out of due to plagiarism allegations, chaos stained his tenure in Congress, and chaos defined his “presidency.”

Afghanistan? The economy? Inflation? The depletion of the Strategic Oil Reserve? This list would be literally endless.

His brain is chaotic, his children are chaotic—the still living ones are “recovering” addicts and one allegedly described “inappropriate” showers with dad—and his descent into senility has been publicly chaotic.

But hey, at least Chuckie Boy can count, unlike the demented Biden who failed miserably at determining how many letters were in the word “jobs”—even after spelling it out: