The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders is in its Fifth Edition, with the latest text revisions occurring in 2022. While it bizarrely goes out of its way to focus on Ethno-racial equity and accompanying risk factors, there is one glaring omission -- Trump Derangement Syndrome.

While irresponsibly remiss, there’s still a chance for the shrinks, psychologists, counselors, and therapists who engage in this distressing taxonomy to redeem themselves. That’s because TDS not only lingers after all these years, but is actually accelerating amongst vulnerable leftist populations.

The release of DSM 6 is expected in the next couple of years, so there’s time for shrinks and their ilk to properly categorize the debilitating TDS condition. They may have strayed with their woke emphasis on equity in DSM 5, but now is the time to “stand up for science”-- presuming shrinkdom and affiliated vocations are somewhat scientific.

The DSM defines a mental disorder as, “A syndrome characterized by clinically significant disturbance in an individual's cognition, emotion regulation, or behavior that reflects a dysfunction in the psychological, biological, or developmental processes underlying mental functioning.” Clearly, TDS, especially as exhibited by demented Dems, qualifies… especially the part about mental functioning.

Once TDS is properly classified, symptoms can be enumerated. These include (not exhaustively) the following:

• Incongruous emotions, including in our incongruous Congress (e.g., not rising for cancer-surviving boy during Trump’s “SOTU” speech, or any other American, for that matter)
• Hysterical behavior
• Uncontainable weeping and sadness
• Panic attacks (did you see Pelosi’s contorted, gargoyle-like face during Trump’s “SOTU” speech?)
• Convulsions
• Perseveration (the compulsive repetition of an action)
• Distorted opinions
• Cognitive dissonance and forms of delusion
• Mental muddle and existential breakdown
• Pervasive Trump Torment

Whereupon mental health clinicians, and what have you, can recommend more precise treatments, for, their meditation and mindfulness apps are no match for their madness. Depending on level of severity, these treatments may include:

• Outings to the peaceful forest to engage in primal screams
• If forest bathing doesn’t work, then outings to the lake for more screaming
• Assignment of a soothing therapy dog
• Commitment to safe spaces for desensitization procedures
• Cognitive behavioral therapy (to minimize their debilitative thinking patterns)
• Emotional Freedom Techniques (useful for easing stress and anxiety)
• Electroconvulsive therapy (for more extreme cases like Schiff and Pelosi… and many others)
• Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation for the particularly depressed Dems.
• Various other scans for those who scam Trump                             

Assiduously codifying TDS in the DSM will not only help diagnose the enlarged ranks of sufferers, but will benefit society as the Golden Age of America flourishes. After all, as Philip G. Zimbardo, once president of the American Psychological Association, explained “[m]adness is the sufferer’s unintentional disruption of society’s norms, of reasonable and normal actions.”

One might quibble over the word “unintentional,” but Dems with TDS (that’d be just about all of them), are intentionally disrupting our voter-approved MAGA norms, and reasonable, commonsensical actions.

Others may be so off-kilter as to have lost any sense of propriety, self-control, and self-awareness. Since they can’t help themselves, let’s encourage the mental health professionals to compile an accurate DSM version 6 to help them with objective TDS assessments.

Image: Gage Skidmore