Gavin Newsom reportedly set to attend tonight’s debate as a ‘surrogate,’ waiting just outside the ropes to relieve Ol’ Joe

Choose your fighter:

You’d have to be an idiot to choose the guy on the left, just saying.

President Trump is known for his quick-wit, and physical stamina—especially impressive when you consider his love for Diet Coke and fast food, even more so in conjunction with his age; that man seems to have more energy than I do, and I’m in my thirties.

It goes without saying that Joe Biden is no match, in every sense of the word, but especially when it comes to vigor and vitality—no one would argue otherwise, if they were being honest at least, because we can all personally observe Biden. He’s like a corpse on marionette strings, sporting a hairstyle like the Cryptkeeper. Everything, and I mean everything, about Biden’s geriatric demeanor and appearance suggests he’s a member of the non-living, and watching anyone interact with him, the dynamics are undeniable: He’s the confused old man muttering about who knows what, and everyone just smiles and nods their heads awkwardly.

And, it looks as though at least some of Biden’s campaign is taking this objective reality into account, no longer going for the “fake it ‘til you make it” approach—the shameless lies and excuses from the Bidenites never actually convinced anyone that the Joe is sharp and competent, because the idea that he’s even aware of his surroundings is highly doubtful. New reports suggest that Gavin Newsom will be attending tonight’s debate in Atlanta, as a “Biden surrogate,” and the two will reportedly engage in a tag-team strategy, to make it through just one confrontation with the Trumpster. Here’s this, from an NBC outlet in Sacramento;

Gov. Gavin Newsom to attend Presidential debate as Biden surrogate

Gov. Gavin Newsom on Thursday is slated to attend the Presidential debate between Joe Biden and Donald Trump.

Two sources close to the situation who spoke on the condition they remain anonymous confirmed the governor is scheduled to head to Atlanta for the debate as a surrogate for the Biden campaign. The New York Times reported earlier this month the campaign had asked Newsom to serve in that role in what’s known as the ‘spin room’ to speak to journalists following the debate, which is airing on CNN.

Why doesn’t Biden do the “spin room” debriefing? Oh that’s right, because if by some miracle he makes it through the rigor of the debate without collapsing or wandering off, there’s no way he’s going to be able to break it all down after the main event. Joe is low energy, and we know how Trump the boss feels about low-energy:

This isn’t hyperbolic, but Biden’s team is literally pulling him up off of what should be his death bed to stand for 90 minutes and go head-to-head with one of the sharpest and most energetic personalities in political history. I mean, let’s not forget that Trump is the man who came up with “only Rosie O’Donnell,” “because you’d be in jail,” and “you wouldn’t be a choice of mine either” retorts at the drop of a hat, so brilliant and perfectly timed and delivered, it left the spectators roaring in applause and his opposition fuming and speechless.

Kelly, smug and condescending, was sure she had him—she didn’t—but you can tell Trump was way ahead, his comeback ready before she even finished her remark, waiting for the perfect time to drop the zinger.

And this, this is just too good to gloss over:

That wretched Clinton, who among other things left Americans to die in Benghazi, at a loss for words after getting put in her place hard—it’s all the more beautiful when you hear the frustration in Anderson Cooper’s voice as he reminds the audience to “be quiet” after its members explode in cheers and applause for Trump’s comment.

He’s obviously the greatest unpaid comedian of all time—I will stand by that, as his antics and comments have brought me more joy and laughter than any “real” comedian I’ve ever heard. Personally, I do not understand the disclaimer that many Republican voters seem to want to throw out in their “support” of Trump, like “I don’t like Trump, but he’s better than the alternative.” Darn right he’s better than Joe, but he’s also hilarious, and a national treasure, and we were blessed to have him as president. I for one am a huge fan; how could I not be when he’s fighting my battles against the tyrannical elites who despise my very existence?

I’m looking forward to seeing him in fine form tonight—Make Trump president again!

Shaleah Craighead, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

Image: Public domain.

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