Jilted Chris Christie fantasizes before an audience about a ‘death match’ in which Trump died, accuses Trump of looking ‘terrible’

“If you look at Trump physically right now, he looks terrible,” said the wildebeest of New Jersey who left the all-you-can-eat buffet line (with FUPA in tow) long enough to plop himself in an oversized chair on a stage before a progressive audience at the University of Chicago, where he spent the better part of his allotted time fixated on the former president. (FUPA refers to the Front Upper Pubic Area, or that fanny pack of blubber nestled on Chris Christie’s lap.)

Here’s a video clip of that moment, because the irony is just unreal:

 

 

Christie, the walking heart attack, must be the most out-of-touch man in politics; how can he honestly comment on President Trump’s appearance while looking like…that? I mean, the biggest insult/roast/slur hurled between my two sons are Christie-related denigrations: “You’re so fat, you couldn’t even fit in Chris Christie’s pants,” and “You’re so dumb, Chris Christie beat you in an IQ contest.” FYI, while I find this hilarious, I have to pretend that I don’t, so my boys have taken to dropping these deeply-offensive ad hominem attacks only when they think they’re out of mom’s earshot.

Now I’m obviously not a Christie fan, but I say this for his own sake: If you wear your belt under your breastbone, and you’re shaped like Oswald Cobblepot when he’s played by Danny Devito—Jerry Nadler I’m talking to you too buddy—and you’re thinking about commenting on how another person looks? In the words of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, “Don’t.

During the same event, Christie also announced his fantasy about Trump perishing in a “literal” death match:

 

 

Seriously, with their level of obsession, you’d think that Trump ditched them at the altar or something; these people talk about President Trump more than I do and I actually love the guy, and I work for an outlet that talks conservative politics all day every day. At this point, I would not be surprised in the least to learn that people like Christie (Rob Reiner, Joe Biden, and Hillary Clinton all come to mind) have little Trump shrines. TDS reigns supreme. 

And if it weren’t clear enough, the porky little politician will not be voting for Trump, “under any circumstances,” because as he claims, “I know him too well, and, and he is wholly unfit to be president….” Again, the jokes just write themselves. (That FUPA is still just as large and in charge as it’s always been.)

 

 

Well thank goodness, because if someone like Christie believed he and Trump were aligned on policy, that would actually be a blow to Trump’s credibility.

Let’s herd the loose water buffalo back to the Golden Corral, or Roy Rogers, where he belongs:

 

 

Image from X video

Image from X.

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