Did Biden’s big mouth just commit him to debate Donald Trump?

Sometimes, it’s nice to walk away from the insanely depressing news about America’s college campuses, the economy, immigration, and all the other stuff in Biden’s America and just to focus on Joe Biden himself. That’s because this addled old man is the source of endless comic material. He lies, misspeaks, misreads, and, most recently, may have committed himself to a debate or two against Donald Trump, something that he’s manifestly incapable of handling.

I’m sure all of you caught Biden’s Ron Burgundy moment, but I’ll share it with you again, nevertheless. If you’re not familiar with Ron Burgundy, this will help you catch up (language warning):

 

And here, for your enjoyment, is Joe “Burgundy” Biden:

But that’s par for the course when it comes to Biden. What happened today, though, was new and exciting because someone let Biden off the leash, and he called into Howard Stern’s show. During the telephone call, Biden told some amazing whoppers, one of which is that he’s chomping at the bit to debate Donald Trump. His handlers must have had a heart attack because that sounded like a commitment. They’re going to have an almost impossible time backing off of it now.

So, here are the whoppers Biden told during the phone call to Stern.

Whopper No. One: Biden claimed that he got arrested during the Civil Rights movement for standing with a black family on their porch. There is no evidence that this ever happened.

Whopper No. Two: Biden claims he saved half a dozen people’s lives during his time as a lifeguard (presumably when he wasn’t off defending against Corn Pop). It’s unlikely this is true.

Whopper No. Three: In the 1970s, women constantly sent him salacious pictures, which he passed on to the Secret Service. (Moment of truth: Senators have no Secret Service protection.)

Whopper No. Four: Biden again claimed that he was a football star, which is an out-and-out, provable lie:

Whopper No. Five: Biden said Trump makes fun of him, and he’d really like to fight Trump. Actually, this isn’t a whopper. Trump does make fun of Biden, and Biden probably really does want to fight Trump. The delusional part is Biden’s implication that he could win.

Were that fight to occur, Joe Biden could be any one of the three men in this video. Trump, I suspect, would come off looking quite good.

Whopper No. Six: This is the biggest whopper of all. Biden essentially said that he’s chomping at the bit to debate Trump—something that must have come as a surprise to his handlers, who have been doing their best to avoid a debate:

Hallelujah! I can’t think of anything more damaging to Joe Biden than to appear at a debate against Donald Trump.

In 2012, Joe Biden, with his rictus grin, was at the top of his game...as a bully. Paul Ryan could have won on the merits, but he completely collapsed before Biden’s verbal onslaught. That was a win for Biden.

In 2020, Biden was still functional, and he lied like crazy (e.g., denying his son’s laptop). The debate moderators, especially the malevolent Chris Wallace, propped him up when necessary. Trump didn’t handle Biden well, either, coming out too strong in the first debate and too diffident in the second one. The debates ended up not harming Biden, so they could be viewed as a win or a draw.

In 2024, though, it will be different. Trump, who has a remarkable ability to learn despite his age, won’t make any mistakes dealing with Biden. He’ll have plans for how to handle Biden if the guy is just a demented muppet, and he’ll have plans for dealing with Biden if the guy is so hopped up on amphetamines that he rivals the old FedEx commercials.

If Biden is unable to weasel out of the debate he’s now effectively promised, it should be the greatest debate in American political history, if for no other reason than comedic value.

Image: Joe Biden and Donald Trump debating, by AI.

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