Thus decrees Biden: You shall pay others' student debts

Faster than you can say "privileged student freeloader parasites," President Joe Biden (D) announced still yet another plan that will "forgive" students from repaying loans used to pay high tuition at expensive colleges so they wouldn't have to attend taxpayer-supported, low-tuition public colleges.  Or work.  Or attend job-focused trade schools.

"Can the Secretary use his powers to abolish $430 billion in student loans, completely canceling loan balances for 20 million borrowers, as a pandemic winds down to its end?" wrote Chief Justice John Roberts in the majority opinion for Biden v. Nebraska. "We can't believe the answer would be yes."

And thus, the mean justices of the Supreme Court, who dutifully followed the law, forced his hand, Biden proudly proclaimed, when they struck down his original plan to relieve more 39 million student borrowers from repaying their loans.  Not willing to follow the law as proclaimed by knowledgeable Supreme Court justices, instead, under Biden's new and definitely unimproved scheme,

[t]he Biden administration said 804,000 people will learn that their debt has been discharged. These are people who were enrolled in IDRs (income driven repayment) and who have accumulated the equivalent of either 20 or 25 years of qualifying monthly payments, the administration said. ...

Why are they getting loan forgiveness now?

The administration said it is discharging the loans now because it wants to fix "historical failures" in how IDRs were managed. 

"Historical failures."  Hmm...does that mean that lower-income Democrat borrowers, majoring in grievance studies, who couldn't find jobs, resented repaying their loans and threatened to sit out elections, thus depriving Democrats of their votes?  Just asking.

"But...but...what about the creditors?  What about the companies, the schools that originally loaned the money to these oh, so deserving students?  Will they be stuck?" you wonderingly, logically might ask.  Well, wonder no more.  Of course, they will be repaid by the most logical source: you.  Yes, you, you sucker taxpayer.  You, who, if you took out a college loan, dutifully repaid it.  Perhaps you majored in something like engineering, computers, nursing, teaching, etc. so you qualified for a decent-paying job after graduation so you could dutifully repay your loan.  Or perhaps, not wanting to be in debt, or drive your parents into debt paying your tuition, you studied auto mechanics, plumbing, laboratory tech, computers, etc. at a trade school, or you attended a public university so you qualified for a decent-paying job without the burden of loans.

Such diligence, such practicality must be punished by paying more taxes.  Or income reduction through inflation as the nation's debt skyrockets more.  Or paying for other students' failures.  Or...

Image: Gage Skidmore via Flickr, CC BY-SA 2.0.

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