An uninteresting First Lady makes for a biography in which no one is interested

Jill Biden is not an inherently interesting person. She’s been a teacher for some decades now, wrote an undistinguished thesis to get a meaningless Ed.D., and now functions as her husband’s nursemaid. She also lacks charm. And, of course, she’s White. Why someone thought a biography of her would be interesting is impossible to understand although a biography that took two people to write hit the market this past week—and completely bombed.

Here is Jill’s bio in a nutshell:

She dropped out of junior college, got married, and went to the University of Delaware to be an English major. She and her husband separated and she began dating Biden, then a Senator and widower with two children. Her divorce came through, she graduated with an English degree, and started working as a teacher. She and Joe married but she never adopted his boys. She got a Master of Education. And then she got another Master of Education. She taught English classes. She got her Ed.D., based on a badly written thesis (almost as bad as Michelle Obama’s Bachelor’s thesis), which is bizarre considering her English language background. She wants people to call her “Dr.,” which is the height of narcissism.

Image: Jill Biden. YouTube screen grab.

And that’s it, except for the fact that she’s clearly Joe’s minder now, telling him when to speak and when to stay silent, and when to walk and where. That’s just in front of the cameras. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors?

It’s not a bad resume for a middle-class married woman. It’s just utterly average. Nevertheless, Julie Page and Darlene Superville, both of whom are AP reporters, thought there was something there, something people would pay $26 for a hardback to learn about.

Their instincts were entirely wrong, as their book had one of the worst first weeks in biography history (emphasis mine):

The American people are decidedly disinclined to pay $26 for a book about the life of President Joe Biden's primary caretaker. Politico reports that a recently published biography of Dr. Jill Biden, Ed.D, sold just 250 copies in its first week of circulation.

The Politico article, which documents the professional anxiety of White House correspondents who find it "boring and difficult" to cover an administration whose policies they wholeheartedly support, cites the poor sales of Jill: A Biography of the First Lady by AP reporters Julie Pace and Darlene Superville as an example of why journalists are so bummed out now that a Democrat is in charge.

Truly no one cares about Jill Biden. There is nothing to care about. It’s like reading the biography of your next-door neighbor who’s nice enough (as Obama once said of Hillary) but never did anything special.

There’s an expression warning against putting lipstick on a pig. Jill Biden is not a pig. She’s the closest living thing to an empty space and trying to put lipstick on her and then market her as a star is going to be as wasted an effort as it would be if she were a piggish human being. 

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