Microsoft Word's spellchecker goes woke

Some of the wayward wussies who indulged their delicate psyches in academia's safe zones are now working at Microsoft — specifically, the Office 365 division.  The software twits that tinker with the Office 365 version of Word have concocted an inclusiveness spellchecker that obtrusively highlights mundane terms that some hypersensitive dear may internalize.

Some of the P.C. alternatives they've concocted can be confounding.  For example, "expert" is suggested for "master," "performing artist" for "showgirl," "lover" replaces "mistress," "workforce" for "manpower," "house cleaner" for "maid," and "humankind" for "mankind."

That last one — humankind — provides a thread for some sample paragraphs that highlight the absurdity that these touchy nerds foist upon us.  Here are three paragraphs (followed by more content) replete with woke Word trickery that simply confounds Noel S. Williams:

It took a lot of workforce to build the Saturn V rocket that propelled the crewed Apollo 11 command module to space.  Fortunately, the crew weren't screwed because of the excruciating attention to details the NASA scientists, engineers, and managers exhibited; in fact, many of them had Expert of Science degrees or better. 

Following their giant leap for humankind, the astronauts embarked on a worldwide goodwill tour.  Their wives accompanied them during this 45-day extravaganza, so surreptitious rendezvouses with lovers from their ports of call were deterred.  Still, the performing artists (like the "Golddiggers" during Neil Armstrong's USO tour of Vietnam) probably provided some welcome distraction from the tedious experts of ceremonies at various events.

I'm sure Buzz Aldrin would have been distracted, for he had lovers, which exacerbated the marital tensions with his first wife.  Still, when he remarried, I bet the house cleaner of honor swelled with pride in leading bridesmaids in the wedding of the second human to experience the magnificent desolation of the Moon.

As demonstrated above, rather than soften our supposed biases, the nonsensical substitutes proposed by Word's inclusiveness spellchecker backfire, serving to reinforce the silliness of woke hubris.

One benefit of the pandemic is that virtual learning and vocationally tailored education are bourgeoning, while traditional campus enrollment is down — one million fewer students are in college.

It would also be beneficial (less P.C.-induced anxiety and reduced student debt) if the wannabe Microsoft software engineers would shun the culture-canceling campus safe zones where loony lexicography pervades.  Instead, they might try or even LinkedIn developer tutorials (owned by Microsoft) to escape the clingy cognitive clutches of academia's postmodern leftist indoctrination.

No wonder there is so much anxiety among today's students — it must be exhausting always looking for ways to be offended.  It requires a lot of wallowing in perceived victimhood to always be looking for novel examples of some imagined bias, rather than getting on with life.  The resultant cognitive distortions surely keep the cognitive-behavioral therapists busy, even as the popularity of meditation apps soars.

If the linguistic police can co-opt our language and revise our herstory, including corrupting Neil Armstrong's revelatory moon-landing quote, then they will be a step closer to blacklisting thoughts that countervail their vapid leftist ideology.  With no worthy ideas beyond the ash heap of history, they simply must control our language.  Deferred success ("failure") is not an option.

Oh dear, I just realized: the word "blacklist" is unacceptable.  Word 365 now recommends "accepted list" as the P.C. alternative.  Too bad the intolerant left's practice of blacklisting those who disagree with it remains acceptable.  So much for inclusiveness.

Image via Pxhere.

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