“A working group of professors and students at Bates College has recommended the school require all majors to offer two courses on ‘race, colonialism, white supremacy, power, and privilege,’” The College Fix recently reported. Each of the private liberal arts school’s departments would be expected to revise existing classes to comply with the new racial education requirements.

The group suggests that Calculus I, for example, could “situate race, white supremacy, colonialism, power, and privilege centrally and attend to them throughout the course.” How does one modify calculus to make Caucasians look bad? Sir Isaac Newton and Gottfried Leibniz discovered calculus in the 1600s. Newton sparked the scientific revolution and was the progenitor of the Age of Enlightenment, for crying out loud. Would we be better off if we had just stayed in the Dark Ages and shunned science?

If the plan is implemented, students would be required to take one introductory course and one advanced course centered entirely on race. Science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM) majors, for example, could satisfy the advanced requirement by taking “Math 233: Mathematics for Social Justice. The group determined that, in order to fulfill the racial education requirements, all math classes must include “understanding how mathematical methods can expose racial and other injustices, and the role of mathematics as a gatekeeper and driver of injustice.” Each biology course must include “the context of a genetics course to understand the social construction of race, and the fact that there is nothing biological supporting these hierarchies and historical injustices.” (Except, presumably, in the case of White people, who are inherently racist!)

The left purports to believe that everything is just a “social construct” now, that everything is fungible, nothing the result of genetics or biology. Girl, boy? Social construct. Black, white? Social construct. Good, bad? Social construct. Sir Isaac Newton, Joy Behar? Social construct. Misinformation, truth? You guessed it, social construct. By God, if we grow a pumpkin in just the right environment, it may well turn out to be a cabbage. (Or a carriage?)

This is the kind of preposterous bullsh*t that “institutions of higher learning” are foisting on your sons and daughters…for the (in the case of Bates College) $78,000 per year cost of tuition and fees.

“Peyton, for the equation 3X-X=6, please solve for X. Tell us the value of X.”

“Yes, professor. X =3.”

“No, I’m sorry, that is incorrect. The correct answer is: ‘white Western patriarchal imperialism has not only seriously damaged virtually all third world nations but has led to the rampant marginalization of indigenous peoples, women, and members of the LGBTQ community, particularly in the United States.’”

“Now, Chris, what does E=MC² signify?”

“The formula E=MC² defines the energy E of a particle in its rest frame as the product of mass (M) with the speed of light squared (C²). Because the speed of light is a large number in everyday units, approximately 3×10⁸ meters per second, the formula implies that a small amount of rest mass corresponds to an enormous amount of energy, which is independent of the composition of the matter.”

“No, I’m sorry. (Snorts with derision.) That, too, is incorrect. E=MC² actually represents the innate hatred that white Christian males have for our planet, as clearly evidenced by their refusal to ‘trust the science’ and their denial of climate change.” 

“Now, Dakota, please explain the Pythagorean Theorem, doing so in a way that clearly shows that Euclidean geometry is nothing but a vast misinformation campaign conducted by Fox News and other radical right-wing extremists bent on skinhead world domination…”

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