Maybe they want to see who’ll blink first. But I’ve heard of Twitter suspending people’s accounts (e.g., Nicki Minaj) and banning users (e.g., President Trump), along with the games they routinely play, such as shadow-banning tweets. I’ve never heard, however, of someone being in Twitter limbo for more than six months while the Twitter twits “review” his appeal.

But that’s me.

September 17, 12:29 p.m. marked the six-month anniversary of my first and only “suspension” from Twitter. Oh, it was a long time in coming. I mean, I’d posted so much politically incorrect material that I was wondering when I’d be suspended and, frankly, had been feeling a bit neglected, as if I wasn’t persecution-worthy. In particular, I’d sent a multitude of “un-woke” tweets (a.k.a. the Truth) about the MUSS (Made-up Sexual Status or “transgender”) agenda, which the Twitter twits are often intensely sensitive about. (I guess they can sympathize with aspiring shape-shifters, having long ago transitioned from a social media platform to an anti-social propaganda outfit.)

But I finally attracted their attention when I responded to rapper Cardi B after the March dust-up she had with commentator Candace Owens. Owens had criticized the “singer’s” depraved 2021 Grammy Awards performance featuring her testimonial to America’s descent into idiocracy — her song “WAP” — and, in response, Cardi B had posted an old, suggestive photo of Melania Trump to justify her actions and asked why Owens had a problem with her. I then tweeted:

@iamcardib Maybe because you're acting like a greedy slut who's corrupting the young? Just a thought. Here's a pro tip: You don't justify bad behavior by citing other bad behavior. Children do that.

There are two ironies here. First, in saner times, pre-Sexual Devolution, Cardi B’s cultural effluent wouldn’t have been produced by any major label, let alone aired.

Now it’s criticism of such that mayn’t be aired.

Second, my Twitter cancelation befell me while I was crafting a magazine essay on cancel culture. So as I put it, sort “of like a researcher in the midst of a set of experiments who then finds out he's going to be one of the test subjects, Twitter gave me some timely and personal material a day before my article deadline.”

What’s more, the Twitter twits explained my suspension thus:

“You may not promote violence against or directly attack or threaten other people on the basis of race, ethnicity, national origin, caste, sexual orientation, gender, gender identity, religious affiliation, age, disability, or serious disease.”

Of course, I didn’t actually call Cardi B a “slut,” but said she was acting like one. But help me out: Into which of the above categories does “slut” fall? Maybe it’s a “disability,” I don’t know. Or perhaps it’s a race from an alternate universe where vice is the norm (oh, wait, that’s what we’re becoming!) and the women are all like Bill Clinton without the self-restraint.

By the way, I won’t explicitly relate what “WAP” is an acronym for, but the first word is “Wet,” the second is a three-letter term for derrière, and the third is both a name for a cat and a vulgar noun describing an intimate female body part.

But, no matter, Cardi B, worth 30 million dollars, needs GoogTwitFace (Big Tech) protection from those of modest means who’d dare question her probity. So for the last six months, when logging into my Twitter account, a page appears on which the Twitter twits “thank” me for my appeal and then write:

Please note that while we review your appeal, you won’t be able to access your Twitter account. We’ll take a look and will respond as soon as possible.

If you’d rather just delete the content, you can cancel your appeal.

I’d sent the Twitter twits a link to my first article, in which I also called them Twitter twits, which probably didn’t exactly endear them to me. I also wrote in reference to my possibly deleting the tweet that this will never, ever happen. The Twitter twits might have taken this as a bit of a challenge and perhaps want to see me go back on my word — see me blink first, as I said.

Yes, well, Twitter twits, I really do miss being shadow-banned and having a grand total of seven followers actually see my tweets. What exposure I’m missing!

But I’ll manage and, along with many others, will use alternative social media platforms. This will further divide the country and clarify the battle lines. I won’t say “It’s all good,” but it is all now necessary — and a heck of a lot better than the alternative. 

Contact Selwyn Duke, follow him on Gab, MeWe, or Parler  or log on to SelwynDuke.com.

To comment, you can find the MeWe post for this article here.