Most people are canny enough to know that when someone advertises himself or herself as a certain kind of thing, the opposite is likely to be the case. Think: "Honest John's Used Cars." "Mom's Cooking." "We're from the government and we're here to help." "I'm a lady."

Which brings us to Meghan Markle, the Hollywood B-list actress who finagled a role for a couple of years as the Duchess of Sussex.

After telling us how selfless she was for ditching the royal family in order to go make money (off of them, no less), including a coming March 8 tell-all interview to Oprah Winfrey, here's the biteback from Buckingham Palace:

Royal aides have hit back at the Duchess of Sussex before her television interview with Oprah Winfrey by revealing that she faced a bullying complaint made by one of her closest advisers during her time at Kensington Palace.

The sources approached The Times because they felt that only a partial version had emerged of Meghan’s two years as a working member of the royal family and they wished to tell their side, concerned about how such matters are handled by the palace. The complaint claimed that she drove two personal assistants out of the household and was undermining the confidence of a third staff member.

And as for the Palace:

"We are clearly very concerned about allegations in The Times following claims made by former staff of The Duke and Duchess of Sussex," the palace said in a statement. "Accordingly, our HR team will look into the circumstances outlined in the article. Members of staff involved at the time, including those who have left the Household, will be invited to participate to see if lessons can be learned."

The Palace does seem to be hitting out at her, playing her game as hardball against her as she has played against them, with the war, of course, being staged in the press. As for the Palace's motives, well, it makes sense to not snot off to staff, given that any of them can quit the job and do a Markle, too, using their experiences in the royal household either for press leaks or negative tell-all books or interviews. It's not just two who can play Markle's game, it's one, two, many... The other thing is, they tried to be nice to her. They gave her a fancy wedding. They let her wear an antique tiara. They gave her a fancy title. They tried to befriend her. They let her make an extravagant multi-million-dollar remodel job to Frogmore Cottage. She responded by saying life in the royal family as Prince Harry's wife "wasn't working" for her. Which supposedly ticked Prince Phillip, patriarch of the family, mightily. He, after all, gave up his own promising career as a matter of duty to be the queen's consort. Someone like Meghan is entirely foreign to his values.

The allegations themselves, though, that she was so nasty and unpleasant to the help that she drove a number of them from their jobs, preferring unemployment to being abused by a B-list Hollywood actress, is pretty damning, though. Would Meghan Markle really be that nasty? Well, let's just say this isn't the first time we've heard reports of her being a primadonna.

That's one thing, and if true that she was mean to the help, well, it's pretty common among Hollywood B-List actresses. Hollywood is full of actresses who treat the help like dirt, having a grand old time playing primadonna -- and they often end up on tabloidy clickbait lists like these. 

But in Meghan's case, the hypocrisy is disgusting. She's been telling us for years that she's Lady Beneficient, only interested in serving the global community of good causes, while reports like these slip out to bring her to earth. And her spinned defense is revolting.

According to People magazine:

In a statement obtained by PEOPLE after The Times published their story on Tuesday night, a spokesperson for Meghan and Harry said, "The Duchess is saddened by this latest attack on her character, particularly as someone who has been the target of bullying herself and is deeply committed to supporting those who have experienced pain and trauma. She is determined to continue her work building compassion around the world and will keep striving to set an example for doing what is right and doing what is good."

See, she's all about doing right and doing good. The idea that she could be a bully is preposterous, she'd have you know. Anyone else's antenna up with that one?

In Meghan's case, it's gotten her a date with Oprah Winfrey to emote and oprah-fy in a bid to build her brand. Far from being a billionaire-lifestyler who got a big Netflix deal on no talent, and now some fancy digs in the mansion-filled California town of Montecito, home of energy-eater and masseuse groper Al Gore, she'd have you think she's actually a victim.

In addition, she can't help herself in her telling of it:

According to People magazine:

"How do you feel about the palace hearing you speak your truth today?" Winfrey, 67, asked Meghan in the sneak peek shared by CBS Wednesday.  

"I don't know how they could expect that after all of this time, we would still just be silent if there is an active role that the Firm is playing in perpetuating falsehoods about us," Meghan said — "the Firm" referring to the institution of the royal family. "And if that comes with risk of losing things, I mean I — there's a lot that's been lost already." 

Oh, there's a such thing as being silent, of course. It's called closing your mouth and not talking about your relatives to strangers. Such a concept is completely unfamiliar to Meghan who advises she can't shut up about it at all.

That's another element of Hollywood culture, but somehow, she wants you to close your eyes and believe she's a victim-duchess instead.

The Palace obviously, isn't going to sit there as this Oprah-emoting plays out at their expense. They're biting back. They play hardball. They know the secret to survival, given that they've been at this for several hundred-odd years, and don't intend to let a bounder like Meghan take them down.

This makes for some good soap-opera fodder for the rest of us, of course, better still, because it's to be continued soon.

Image credit: Northern Ireland Office via Flickr (cropped), CC BY-SA 2.0, filtered with FotoSketcher.