Are you almost broke because of medical bills?  Does your job, that you're lucky to have, leave you so exhausted that you have no time or patience for your family?  Are federal and local taxes grabbing an ever larger part of your income, reducing your after-tax income?  Do you want to move to another part of the country with better professional opportunities, proximity to family, pleasanter weather, and/or lower taxes but can't afford the expense?  Does the lawyer you hired to fight the ticket for going over 5 miles above the limit charge more than the ticket you can't afford?  Did you commit a minor crime as a teenager years ago, repent, but still find it difficult to get a job or decent housing because of this stain on your record?  Are you having trouble with tuition payments for the school that offers the best training for your dream job that will pay you a living wage? Did you lose a job to a much less qualified special minority?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, help is on the way!  Do I have a deal for you!  Become an illegal alien to the United States, and all these problems — and more! — are solved!  Free!

What?  Yes, it is that easy if declared president Joe R. Biden (D) and friends have their way.

The United States could pay for transportation, healthcare, legal services, and career and educational services for migrants separated under former President Donald Trump's "zero tolerance" border strategy, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) said on Monday.

The announcement is part of a list of principles released by the administration of U.S. President Joe Biden to guide its family reunification task force as the administration seeks to reunite more than 500 migrant children and parents separated by his predecessor's border policy.

The Biden administration will also consider bringing deported parents back to the United States, an option outlined in Biden's Feb. 2 executive order creating the family reunification task force.

See how easy it is, you hardworking sucker. 

"But, but who will pay for this?" you might wonder.  Why, all the legal citizens of the U.S., both native-born and (legal) immigrants who patiently waited for permission to arrive in this country, who work hard to pay taxes to support themselves and their families.

"What's the catch,?" you might dubiously ask.  None!  The catch — and the taxes to pay for all of this — belong to all the legal citizens of the U.S.

This white-skinned daughter of legal, hardworking Jewish immigrants who honored and privileged me as their parents and who pays more than her fair share of taxes but doesn't get the equivalent in return except for the honor of living in the United States, and thus unfairly suffers from inequity, is seriously thinking about legally becoming illegal. 

It's only fair.  And equal.

Image via Pxhere.