Mom, apple pie, and...Coca-Cola?

The invasion of the mind-snatchers has now captured large American iconic companies.  Coke's online training session told its associates, "try to be less white."

Coke's new advertisement: "More filling, less White." 

Here are some slides that a "whistleblower" sent.

"In the U.S. and other Western nations, white people are socialized to feel that they are inherently superior because they are white," reads one of the slides, allegedly sent from an "internal whistleblower"

Another slide suggests "try to be less white" with tips including "be less oppressive," "listen," "believe," and "break with white solidarity." 

To sum this up: White people suck.  Don't hang out with them, you oppressive, arrogant rube. 

In a normal world, not the bizarro mirror we all fell through, Coke would be laughed out of business, but today?  Not so much.

Coke to associates: "Try to be less black"!  See how far that gets you. 

Or please "try not to be so Jewish."  Someone, anyone can say that to me but at his peril. 

Of course, in today's racial studies or anti-racist studies, Jews are White, and it is okay to insult Whites because nothing says "anti-racism" like more racism. 

So how do you "be less White"?

Here are a few things that White people supposedly do more of than Black people.

Eat more vegetables.  According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture a few years ago, Whites eat more carrots, kale, and vegetables than non-White Americans.  So carrots and kale are doubleplusungood.  Will a reduction of 20 percent of these vegetables help?  If you eat too many carrots, you may become less White and more orange, which may work.  Don't believe me?  Look up old pics of the carrot juicer guy Jay Kordich.  He is not White any longer, so he would be okay unless white includes orange.  Is Carrot Top white?  

Names are a problem, so if we combine names, that may help.

White girl names: 

Katelyn

Molly

Karen (now a go-to pejorative term for white women)

Amy

Emily

Katie 

Blackest girl names (according to ABC): 

Imani

Ebony, duh

Aaliyah

Asia

Kiara

Jazmine 

So maybe if you combine some of these, we can hit that "less White " threshold?  

How about JadaKatelyn

Kiaraen instead of Karen. 

What do we White peeps do for fun?  Well, we don't say the word "peeps" because it is culturally appropriating. 

White people go to rap concerts and pretend they are Black.  See Rachel Dolezal.  Dolezal is White but decided that she identifies as Black or is Black but has White days.  Is she the "model" Coke wants to use going forward? 

Sports: White people like badminton, tennis, downhill skiing, swimming, bowling, polo, and croquet.  Are these sports that Whites need to cut down?

Cultural appropriation: A large company in Columbus, Ohio, recently sent out an email that associates can have lunches delivered in honor of Black History Month.  File this under you cannot make this up.  The lunch was fried chicken, collard greens, and watermelon. 

At what exact color does "whiteness" end and blackness begin? 

If you are at the color break, what happens to you? 

Our country has gone temporarily insane.  Maybe this is a side effect of COVID.  Oh, I forgot: COVID-19 disproportionately affects Black people.  You know, as if the virus knows which percentage of Black you are and zaps you.  Nothing like a racist virus to ruin your day. 

Yeah, I know that there are many frontline workers and that poor areas are impacted disproportionately for many reasons, but Whites, Blacks, browns, and even Jewish people live in poor areas as well.  The answer is to help everyone.  

The list of companies I do not support, the people I cannot listen to, the products I won't purchase is getting pretty long.  Soon enough, we will all reach the gray conformity that closed socialist societies end up with.

At least our "equity" will make us all equally miserable. 

Image: Primary686.