The National Antifa Soccer League: The idea gets an idea
According to the New York Post, Antifa Portland is launching a soccer league:
The newly formed Antifa FC, or football club, recently posted fliers to get at least four teams of seven "comrades" to confront each other for an inaugural match night in the troubled Oregon city at 6 p.m. Wednesday.
There's nothing wrong with a radical anarchist group forming a soccer league, but it does raise a lot of questions about how they're going to run it:
Will the league be divided into the different sexes, or will it be a "one league fits all"?
Will the players have owners and, therefore, a players' union?
Will there be a salary cap? That is, will everyone be paid the same salary (say, the left's suggested "working wage" of $15.00 an hour), or will those with greater skills, talent, and acumen receive a higher salary?
Will games have rules that are employed honestly and above board, or will they be arbitrary, with the "goalposts constantly being moved" to "level the playing field" for low-skill players?
If they do have rules and penalties for rough play (for example, a player decides to heave a Molotov cocktail at his rival), will he be assessed with a yellow or red card by the referee?
Will there be any fouls called at all?
Heck, will the league even have referees to enforce whatever rules have been constituted, or will they be defunded?
Will the games be played on the fetid, littered, pungent, fecal-festooned parks that the "Green Team," allies of Mother Nature, have polluted and poisoned with their drugs, booze, and poop during their peaceful protests?
Will the teams have distinct uniforms, or will everyone be required to wear his black wardrobe?
Will there be team sponsors, and will players make their own "sneaker deals"? Or is that all too capitalistic for an Antifa league?
For that matter, as an aside, are the Antifa logos patented, trademarked, and copyrighted, or can anyone use their symbols without permission?
Will they charge for tickets or let everyone in free?
Will the leagues have coaches, or can they self-govern?
Will the very woke ESPN broadcast the games?
Will George Soros, Barack Obama, or even Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler be named commissioner of the league? (Or will they have commissars of the league?)
Will the league look to make a profit? And if so, how will it justify that to the Marxist masses?
Will the participants have to score the same number of goals to ensure fairness and equity?
Will any game end with a winner and a loser? Or will they all end in ties? After all, you don't want to hurt the players' self-esteem with failure.
Will CHAZ/CHOP allow games and players who don't present passports to enter these autonomous enclaves?
Will the league select an MVP (Most Vile Protester)? Indeed, will there be any awards or just lots of participation trophies?
One thing we know for sure: These Antifa soccer players will need to make sure their soccer moms pick 'em up before dinnertime.
Image: Antifa soccer by Will O'Toole.