It didn't seem possible, but the Oscars are going to be even woker than ever

The 92nd Academy Awards show was one of the last big events in 2020 before life stopped for the Wuhan Virus.  If people had known about a future of masks and isolation, maybe more Americans would have watched than the record low of 23.6 million viewers.  But then again, perhaps not, given that winners cannot seem to stop lecturing Americans for being hate-filled, racist, misogynistic yutzes.

The smart thing for the Academy to do in the face of a seemingly unstoppable ratings hemorrhage would be to make the Oscars show more friendly to the viewers.  The Academy could nominate movies people like to watch and then limit the speeches to conform to the old rule that "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."  Instead, as part of its "Academy Aperture 2025" initiative, the Academy has opted to make the nominations even more politically correct, promising Americans that future films will showcase stifling politically correct orthodoxy.

On Tuesday, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences put out a press release announcing all of its impossibly woke requirements for movies beginning in 2022 (meaning films produced in 2021).

The press release has created four "standards":

  • "On-screen representation, themes and narratives"
  • "Creative leadership and project team"
  • "Industry access and opportunities"
  • "Audience development (i.e., marketing")

Under each standard, the Academy lists a variety of mix-and-match quotas that must be met for a specific standard to qualify for Oscar consideration.  For example, lead actors must include one of every victim-identity race or ethnicity group.  Ensembles must include gay people and handicapped people.  Storylines have to touch upon intersectionality, victim-identity issues.  Apprenticeships and internships must have all the underrepresented people represented.  Thirty percent of a film's crew has to meet victim-centric intersectionality metrics.  Here, for example, is the buffet menu for movie-makers listing the choice of possible requirements for what the audience sees:

To achieve Standard A, the film must meet ONE of the following criteria:

A1. Lead or significant supporting actors

At least one of the lead actors or significant supporting actors is from an underrepresented racial or ethnic group.
• Asian
• Hispanic/Latinx
• Black/African American
• Indigenous/Native American/Alaskan Native
• Middle Eastern/North African
• Native Hawaiian or other Pacific Islander
• Other underrepresented race or ethnicity

A2. General ensemble cast

At least 30% of all actors in secondary and more minor roles are from at least two of the following underrepresented groups:
• Women
• Racial or ethnic group
• LGBTQ+
• People with cognitive or physical disabilities, or who are deaf or hard of hearing

A3. Main storyline/subject matter

The main storyline(s), theme or narrative of the film is centered on an underrepresented group(s).
• Women
• Racial or ethnic group
• LGBTQ+
• People with cognitive or physical disabilities, or who are deaf or hard of hearing

And this is how those metrics are going to work for the next three years of moving-making:

For the 94th Oscars (2022) and 95th Oscars (2023), submitting a confidential Academy Inclusion Standards form will be required for Best Picture consideration, however meeting inclusion thresholds will not be required for eligibility in the Best Picture category until the 96th Oscars (2024).

For the 96th Oscars (2024), a film must meet TWO out of FOUR of the following standards to be deemed eligible ...

In the old days, Hollywood made movies to bring in the audience and make money.  Some movie studios also advanced other goals: during the Depression, to cheer people; during World War II and the Korean War, to stimulate patriotism and hope; and, especially if the studio was Warner Brothers, to advance black civil rights.

In our modern era, Hollywood looks to China for its money-making, which explains a lot of the anti-American ugliness in the movies.  With over a billion Chinese to watch the movies, who really cares about Americans?  That's why, for the home front pictures, Hollywood can signal its virtue by preaching to Americans that they are awful people.  At a certain point, though, which Americans are going to pay to see that?

Image: Donald and Melanie Trump at the Academy Awards in 2011, before Hollywood hated them.  Image by David Torcivia, CC BY-SA 2.0.

The 92nd Academy Awards show was one of the last big events in 2020 before life stopped for the Wuhan Virus.  If people had known about a future of masks and isolation, maybe more Americans would have watched than the record low of 23.6 million viewers.  But then again, perhaps not, given that winners cannot seem to stop lecturing Americans for being hate-filled, racist, misogynistic yutzes.

The smart thing for the Academy to do in the face of a seemingly unstoppable ratings hemorrhage would be to make the Oscars show more friendly to the viewers.  The Academy could nominate movies people like to watch and then limit the speeches to conform to the old rule that "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."  Instead, as part of its "Academy Aperture 2025" initiative, the Academy has opted to make the nominations even more politically correct, promising Americans that future films will showcase stifling politically correct orthodoxy.

On Tuesday, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences put out a press release announcing all of its impossibly woke requirements for movies beginning in 2022 (meaning films produced in 2021).

The press release has created four "standards":

  • "On-screen representation, themes and narratives"
  • "Creative leadership and project team"
  • "Industry access and opportunities"
  • "Audience development (i.e., marketing")

Under each standard, the Academy lists a variety of mix-and-match quotas that must be met for a specific standard to qualify for Oscar consideration.  For example, lead actors must include one of every victim-identity race or ethnicity group.  Ensembles must include gay people and handicapped people.  Storylines have to touch upon intersectionality, victim-identity issues.  Apprenticeships and internships must have all the underrepresented people represented.  Thirty percent of a film's crew has to meet victim-centric intersectionality metrics.  Here, for example, is the buffet menu for movie-makers listing the choice of possible requirements for what the audience sees:

To achieve Standard A, the film must meet ONE of the following criteria:

A1. Lead or significant supporting actors

At least one of the lead actors or significant supporting actors is from an underrepresented racial or ethnic group.
• Asian
• Hispanic/Latinx
• Black/African American
• Indigenous/Native American/Alaskan Native
• Middle Eastern/North African
• Native Hawaiian or other Pacific Islander
• Other underrepresented race or ethnicity

A2. General ensemble cast

At least 30% of all actors in secondary and more minor roles are from at least two of the following underrepresented groups:
• Women
• Racial or ethnic group
• LGBTQ+
• People with cognitive or physical disabilities, or who are deaf or hard of hearing

A3. Main storyline/subject matter

The main storyline(s), theme or narrative of the film is centered on an underrepresented group(s).
• Women
• Racial or ethnic group
• LGBTQ+
• People with cognitive or physical disabilities, or who are deaf or hard of hearing

And this is how those metrics are going to work for the next three years of moving-making:

For the 94th Oscars (2022) and 95th Oscars (2023), submitting a confidential Academy Inclusion Standards form will be required for Best Picture consideration, however meeting inclusion thresholds will not be required for eligibility in the Best Picture category until the 96th Oscars (2024).

For the 96th Oscars (2024), a film must meet TWO out of FOUR of the following standards to be deemed eligible ...

In the old days, Hollywood made movies to bring in the audience and make money.  Some movie studios also advanced other goals: during the Depression, to cheer people; during World War II and the Korean War, to stimulate patriotism and hope; and, especially if the studio was Warner Brothers, to advance black civil rights.

In our modern era, Hollywood looks to China for its money-making, which explains a lot of the anti-American ugliness in the movies.  With over a billion Chinese to watch the movies, who really cares about Americans?  That's why, for the home front pictures, Hollywood can signal its virtue by preaching to Americans that they are awful people.  At a certain point, though, which Americans are going to pay to see that?

Image: Donald and Melanie Trump at the Academy Awards in 2011, before Hollywood hated them.  Image by David Torcivia, CC BY-SA 2.0.