Good one: Chris Christie once threatened to 'sit on' self-important little dweeb Mike Bloomberg
Chris Christie is kind of an on-and-off conservative, but it seems he's steady as a rock when it comes to puffed up, insufferable, self-important little twits.
Such is the story of Christie and Michael Bloomberg, told with alacrity by former New York governor David Paterson, who recently published his memoirs.
According to the New York Post:
It was July 8, 2010. Paterson was leading New York and Christie was the Garden State's top exec as they awaited the arrival of Queen Elizabeth at Ground Zero, where the royal was to lay a wreath.
Then-New York City Mayor Bloomberg had yet to arrive, and Christie was seething about the city honcho, Paterson recounts.
"I was told by the protocol people that nobody escorts the Queen but Prince Philip," the rotund Jersey chief executive sniped to Paterson. "But I bet you that Bloomberg is going to try to stand in front of us both and escort her."
Paterson shrugged in response.
"Yeah Chris, Michael always takes charge like that," Paterson says he told Christie. "I'm OK with it."
Christie was definitely not OK with it.
"Well I'm not putting up with it this time," Paterson remembers Christie snapping.
"If he tries it today, I want you to trip him and I'm gonna sit on him," Christie plotted.
Several things make it funny as heck.
Number one, it wasn't going to happen, but the fact that Christie thought it suggests he thinks as ordinary people do, with an Eddie Haskell–like suggestion that Paterson first trip the boob, and he will follow. Off camera, Christie probably has a lot of funny thoughts.
Two, it's self-deprecating. Everyone knows that Christie is as big as a whale. He's a fat guy, and he makes his own girth a subject of humor, not a screech about victimhood or a call for federal funds. He can look at himself with detachment and humor and laugh.
Three, best of all, the target of his wrath-motivated humor is Michael Bloomberg, the diminutive, sniping, self-important little twit with more money than he knows what to do with. He's a pompous ass, and ripe for comedy. Perfect guy for a towel snap or a trip and fat-guy squash. Humor always comes from contrasts.
Good one, Chris, good one. Let's have more of this Chris Christie out front.
Hey, Chris: don't make us rely on David Paterson for the funny stuff.