'Washington Football Team' is a great name. The former Redskins should keep it.

Hail to the friable egos of D.C. do-gooders!

The gallant American Indian has once again found himself on the receiving end of a righteous crusade led by high-minded palefaces.  Rather than lose his land, his noble visage will be effaced from hundreds of millions of dollars of overpriced merchandise.  And he will no longer be the symbol of bulked up, hormone-enhanced Sunday warriors clashing over a pig-skinned oval.

As Kyle Smith notes, "renaming the Washington Redskins seemed like a no-brainer" amidst the ongoing hand-wriggling over racism and police brutality.  Did it matter that only nine percent of American Indians regarded "redskins" as an insulting name for a football team?  Of course not; only white upper-class intellectuals, wearing Frankfurt School–branded prosthetic schnozzes, can sniff out offense where none exists.

So the once-mighty Blackfoot is being marched on the trail of liberal tears to non-use.  His worthy replacement?  Undecided as of now.  But there is a stand-in, and it's something as white-bread as the haughty wokesters dispossessing him.

"Washington Football Team" is now the temporary appellation of the gridiron bruisers representing the nation's capital.  Residents of the DMV can breathe a sigh of relief: they've atoned for white supremacy by replacing a tribute to the indigenous with the mascot equivalent of porridge.  We can all be comforted knowing that somewhere, George Floyd wears a satisfied smile.

The search is on to find a proper team name, preferably one that satisfies the sensitive whims of all parties.  A tall order, that, especially in our emotionally charged climate.

Here's a counter-proposal: don't bother.  The deep-pocketed franchise-operators shouldn't bother picking a representative from an increasingly circumscribed field of inoffensive quadrupeds and inanimate objects.  Any critter or gewgaw they choose will be deemed an affront to good taste sometime in the future, possibly within the next week. 

No doubt, constituencies with endemic victimology are readying to protest the logo-in-waiting.  Washington Redtails?  Black radicalists will eventually object to associating with a sport that disproportionately delivers their race neurological trauma.  How about the Washington Hogs?  The grocer Piggly Wiggly may not want its successful business linked to a team with only three winning seasons in the past decade.  Bring back the Teapot Dome–era Washington Senators?  The NFL could find it emetic to tie itself to the only institutional actors more duplicitous and self-serving than Commissioner Goodell.

No, "Washington Football Team" should be etched in permanently as the official name.  It's the perfect representation of the modern argot: flat, cold, sterilized, anodyne, vague, nonspecific.  No feeling whatsoever to it — the conscious ear consumes it like vernacular soma pills.  If language is best when warmly direct, the overseers of the erstwhile Redskins have managed to make their franchise sound as cool and distant as a Siberian snowman.

Lioner Shriver calls the leftist vocabulary "lazy" in its reliance on broad terms.  Words like "humanity," "community," "content," and "global" are heavy ingredients in the average progressive's word salad.  "Washington Football Team" fits right in with the bland mix of iceberg lettuce and ethically sourced carrots.

The nom de bâiller is also apposite for Redskins fandom, which, such as it is, is largely contrived.  Like their exurban compatriots, the Nationals and Capitals, there are few homegrown District sports fanatics.  The capital city imports most of its residents from across the country, many of whom maintain their hometown or state allegiances.  Since the Nationals and Capitals are actually successful, and there's nothing Washingtonians love more than winning power, they have sizable legions of stadium-fillers who have forsaken the teams they grew up with.  Not the soon to be exterminated Redskins.  The last game I attended in FedExField, with my beloved New England Patriots as visitors, saw more Belichick buffs (née Brady) than fans festooned in burgundy and gold.

Like most American corporations, the NFL is pulling out all the stops to pander to a loud coterie of race-crazy activists.  It's rumored the black national anthem will be blasted in stadiums before every week one game.  Banners sloganed with "End Racism" and "It Takes Us All" will be displayed in end zones.  Since it's a presidential election year, the divisive kneeling during the "Star-Spangled Banner" will be hyped up more than ever.

The League's leftward lurch will continue to alienate scads of viewers who don't care for a mini–Democratic political rally every set of downs.  All the more reason to keep "Washington Football Team" forever emblazoned on the franchise roster.  It will be a running reminder that woke ideology drains the life out of everything.

Hail to the friable egos of D.C. do-gooders!

The gallant American Indian has once again found himself on the receiving end of a righteous crusade led by high-minded palefaces.  Rather than lose his land, his noble visage will be effaced from hundreds of millions of dollars of overpriced merchandise.  And he will no longer be the symbol of bulked up, hormone-enhanced Sunday warriors clashing over a pig-skinned oval.

As Kyle Smith notes, "renaming the Washington Redskins seemed like a no-brainer" amidst the ongoing hand-wriggling over racism and police brutality.  Did it matter that only nine percent of American Indians regarded "redskins" as an insulting name for a football team?  Of course not; only white upper-class intellectuals, wearing Frankfurt School–branded prosthetic schnozzes, can sniff out offense where none exists.

So the once-mighty Blackfoot is being marched on the trail of liberal tears to non-use.  His worthy replacement?  Undecided as of now.  But there is a stand-in, and it's something as white-bread as the haughty wokesters dispossessing him.

"Washington Football Team" is now the temporary appellation of the gridiron bruisers representing the nation's capital.  Residents of the DMV can breathe a sigh of relief: they've atoned for white supremacy by replacing a tribute to the indigenous with the mascot equivalent of porridge.  We can all be comforted knowing that somewhere, George Floyd wears a satisfied smile.

The search is on to find a proper team name, preferably one that satisfies the sensitive whims of all parties.  A tall order, that, especially in our emotionally charged climate.

Here's a counter-proposal: don't bother.  The deep-pocketed franchise-operators shouldn't bother picking a representative from an increasingly circumscribed field of inoffensive quadrupeds and inanimate objects.  Any critter or gewgaw they choose will be deemed an affront to good taste sometime in the future, possibly within the next week. 

No doubt, constituencies with endemic victimology are readying to protest the logo-in-waiting.  Washington Redtails?  Black radicalists will eventually object to associating with a sport that disproportionately delivers their race neurological trauma.  How about the Washington Hogs?  The grocer Piggly Wiggly may not want its successful business linked to a team with only three winning seasons in the past decade.  Bring back the Teapot Dome–era Washington Senators?  The NFL could find it emetic to tie itself to the only institutional actors more duplicitous and self-serving than Commissioner Goodell.

No, "Washington Football Team" should be etched in permanently as the official name.  It's the perfect representation of the modern argot: flat, cold, sterilized, anodyne, vague, nonspecific.  No feeling whatsoever to it — the conscious ear consumes it like vernacular soma pills.  If language is best when warmly direct, the overseers of the erstwhile Redskins have managed to make their franchise sound as cool and distant as a Siberian snowman.

Lioner Shriver calls the leftist vocabulary "lazy" in its reliance on broad terms.  Words like "humanity," "community," "content," and "global" are heavy ingredients in the average progressive's word salad.  "Washington Football Team" fits right in with the bland mix of iceberg lettuce and ethically sourced carrots.

The nom de bâiller is also apposite for Redskins fandom, which, such as it is, is largely contrived.  Like their exurban compatriots, the Nationals and Capitals, there are few homegrown District sports fanatics.  The capital city imports most of its residents from across the country, many of whom maintain their hometown or state allegiances.  Since the Nationals and Capitals are actually successful, and there's nothing Washingtonians love more than winning power, they have sizable legions of stadium-fillers who have forsaken the teams they grew up with.  Not the soon to be exterminated Redskins.  The last game I attended in FedExField, with my beloved New England Patriots as visitors, saw more Belichick buffs (née Brady) than fans festooned in burgundy and gold.

Like most American corporations, the NFL is pulling out all the stops to pander to a loud coterie of race-crazy activists.  It's rumored the black national anthem will be blasted in stadiums before every week one game.  Banners sloganed with "End Racism" and "It Takes Us All" will be displayed in end zones.  Since it's a presidential election year, the divisive kneeling during the "Star-Spangled Banner" will be hyped up more than ever.

The League's leftward lurch will continue to alienate scads of viewers who don't care for a mini–Democratic political rally every set of downs.  All the more reason to keep "Washington Football Team" forever emblazoned on the franchise roster.  It will be a running reminder that woke ideology drains the life out of everything.