COVID virtue-signaling absurdity at the local florist

In our down-east Maine county, as of May 1, there have been ten cases of CCP COVID-19, eight recoveries, one hospitalization, zero deaths.

That doesn't stop the hysteria or the virtue-signaling from local shop-owners, apparently delighted to participate in the Maine governor's lockdown on civil liberties and free markets.

May 1 is my wedding anniversary, creeping up to a half-century, enabled by love, affection, and endurance.  So a dozen roses were in order.

As I parked in front of the local florist, one of the store employees came out to set down a pickup order on their sidewalk bench.  As I walked toward her, I said, "Hi, I'd like to buy some roses."  Said she, " You need to call the store and place your order."  I replied, "Well you are here, and I am here within talking distance.  Why not order from you?"  She replied, slightly annoyed, "You can't do that.  The rules require that you call the store and place your order."

Momentarily flummoxed, I then pulled out my cell phone and asked, "OK, what is your number?"  Without  missing a beat, displaying no sense of self-awareness, nor acknowledging the utter silliness of the moment, she pointed to the number on the COVID-19 notice taped to the door.  Since there are no other florists within ten miles, I called.  I could hear the phone ringing inside the store.  She said, "Excuse me" and disappeared inside the shop.  I then placed my order with her on the phone, with credit card info, pickup time, etc.

So here is the question that matters.  Is this episode from Franz Kafka, George Orwell, or Monty Python?

Second multi-part question: Am I a tool, co-opted by the CCP COVID-19 brainwashing industry?  Or an unrepentant CCP COVID-19 denier, held hostage by simple commerce, now expropriated by the state?

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