The Hate-Trump Club mission statement

We are the left.

The sole reason for our existence is to see Donald Trump removed from office. We also intend to bring about his and his family’s total personal destruction.  He must be demolished.  He is a man of the people, not one of us. He dwells not in our swamp.

The goals of our mission and the story of our execution of our mission are as follows:

  1.  We will fabricate any lie, any false narrative, to infect the minds  of the American people to the degree they will not support President Donald Trump.
  2. We endeavor to use the media to achieve our ends.  As members in good standing, they will distort, edit, and dissemble any truths or facts that may reflect well on the president.  They will disseminate the talking points we distribute to them.
  3. We will enlist an array of billionaires to fund our overt and covert organizations aligned with our purpose:  George Soros, Michael Bloomberg, Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Dorsey, Tom Steyer, SPLC, etc. They have all been on board since the day the president announced his candidacy and have committed their fortunes to our cause.
  4. We will embrace the aid and comfort of the CIA, the FBI and the DOJ, despite our historic animus against them. The president has foiled our efforts there to a certain degree, but we carry on.  We thought we had him with our carefully-planned frame-up that he had colluded with Russia to win the election.  That failed and it was a mighty expensive failure.  Hillary Clinton paid millions of Clinton Foundation dollars to Christopher Steele for his phony, propaganda-infested dossier and hired a large group of like-minded members of our club to execute the deed, starting with  Fusion GPS. She also aligned with James Comey, James Brennan,  Susan Rice, Samantha Power, Bruce and Nellie Ohr, the whiteshoe lawyers of Perkins-Coie, Andrew McCabe, Peter Strzok, Lisa Page, Sally Yates, and a host of other former members in good standing. They failed in their mission and can no longer be members in good standing in the club. 
  5.  We attempted to impeach Trump with that phone call to the president of Ukraine but House Democrats Adam Schiff and Speaker Nancy Pelosi royally messed up that plan.  Schiff too has been removed from our membership roster for now, though he is trying to get back in.  He made us all look bad, as did Special Counsel Robert Mueller and his incompetent team.  What is it about a frame-up they failed to grasp?  We had Michael Atkinson, the intelligence community's inspector general, also a member in good standing, on our side.  Now he’s been fired.
  6. To our delight, COVID-19 has appeared on the scene.  Damn if Trump wasn’t on top of it from day one.  We had to alter that perception from the outset.  Joe Biden, who is too far gone mentally to be an authentic member our organization, caused a setback when he declared the president a xenophobic racist for banning those flights from China. But we got back on track; if only Dr. Anthony Fauci and the left-media were not minimizing the virus, too.  And in fact, it hasn’t killed as many people as the 2009-2010 H1N1 flu. President Obama barely gave a thought to all those hospitalizations and deaths.   
  7. We successfully engineered the total lockdown of the American economy.  How brilliant was that?  We coerced the president into accepting the advice of Fauci and Dr. Deborah Birx, even though their predictions were wildly off base.  Trump’s success with the economy and full employment had to be submarined somehow.  The sudden loss of millions of jobs, the stock market crash, our media pals drumming up panic over a plague; it was a perfect storm.  Surely this would seal Trump’s defeat in November.  But admittedly, “Having lost sight of our objectives, we redoubled our efforts.”  (Walt Kelly).
  8. For the past month, though, we have to endure those daily briefings with Trump and his task force. Damn he’s good!  We have our media plants in there doing their level best to trip him up, to make him say something we can use to make him look the fool.  But the man has an amazing grasp of all the facts, not just about the virus but of every domestic or foreign policy question, industry, trade, etc. -- and them. The man is a walking encyclopedia.  Our reporters end up the fools.  But this virus thing, it will work, we are certain. 
  9. We had all our Democrat governors on board with this lockdown, but now that Trump has handed them guidelines for undoing it, we may be in trouble. Republican governors are all chomping at the bit to end it.  Our members thought they could collectively drag this out until the people were craving rescue.  That’s what we do, rescue people; we want them dependent on us.  That is how we ensure they will vote for us.  If they can’t work, they need us, right?  Now that ploy seems to be slipping away.  The stock market even went up on Friday. 
  10. So we made an error in judgment.  Americans don’t like to “shelter-in-place” for long.  Oh they’re willing to cooperate for awhile and follow basic guidelines but as the confirmed cases and fatalities have not remotely reached the numbers those computer models Birx and Fauci were using and that led to the shutdown, they are beginning to rebel.  We forgot to remember the American revolutionary spirit that is part and parcel of these people;  they don’t like to be bossed around, told what they can and cannot do, especially with regard to church.  That First Amendment is, we must admit, a  problem.  They also really like the Second Amendment.  We fear our over-zealousness has thoroughly foiled our attempt at restricting that one. 
  11. It seems our mission statement has become an admission of defeat.  Joe Biden cannot possibly be elected president; he’s clearly suffering from dementia.  Why his wife continues to let him make a fool of himself is a mystery.  Meanwhile, President Trump has demonstrated an astonishing leadership quality and a mastery of the facts of all pressing issues.  He has foiled us at every turn. We fear he may win in November.  All of our plans have seemingly failed.  The perpetrators of the Russia hoax are possibly about to be indicted.  IG Michael Atkinson’s treason has been exposed.  If our fervent attempts to use the virus against him fail, Trump will surely be re-elected.  If people are allowed by their governors to go back to work, our plan will have suffered a fatal blow.  If only Democrat governors continue the shutdown, the difference between our agenda – total control over the population, and an end to their reverence for the Constitution and the freedoms it guarantees to all citizens - will be writ large.  This does not bode will for our mission.
  12. So it is with great sadness we must admit our own defeat.  Americans are never going to submit to top-down authoritarian control.  As it turns out, those millions of Americans between the coasts are familiar with the Constitution, unlike Gov. Phil Murhpy of New Jersey who said the Bill of Rights is above his pay grade.” They are informed voters.  They can’t be fooled.  They know all too well that Nancy Pelosi is a power-mad pol without a shred of concern for any people or persons.  They know that Adam Schiff is pathologically obsessed with destroying Trump.  They know the Democratic Party has morphed into something more like Castro’s or Maduro’s regimes.  And they know that our media are as corrupt as Russia’s state-controlled press.  It is our damnable First Amendment that has allowed all those upstart conservative media to thrive.  
  13. Well, 13 is the unlucky number.  Our club is unlucky indeed.  We’ve sabotaged ourselves.  We misjudged the American people.  They simply will not be sufficiently submissive; it is not in their nature, no matter what party with which they are affiliated.  Our club’s membership is dwindling.  We hesitate to address and admit our misguided attempts to politically massacre Donald Trump, but we must.  He has had us all for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  We’re done.  As Walt Kelly so famously observed, “we have met the enemy and he is us.”

Caricature by Donkey Hotey, via Flickr // CC BY-SA 2.0