A new video reveals Elizabeth Warren’s perfectly pre-programmed shtick

No matter the question asked of her, Elizabeth Warren instantly swings into a pre-programmed wrap. “Look,” she’ll say. “I’ve got a plan for that.” And then she’ll start reciting the vague parameters of a plan that invariably involves spending massive, but unspecified, amounts of taxpayer money and significantly increasing the government’s role in every American’s life and livelihood.

There’s now a video showing how perfectly rehearsed Warren’s statements are. Sure, the words sometimes change a little, but those changes are relatively insignificant. The substance, the rhythm, the timing . . . they’re all there in perfect order. Irritating as it is to listen to Warren blabber on, especially in stereo, this video is a neat trick and well-worth watching to understand how canned Warren is:

There’s a well-known video showing Fred Astaire trying out a single dance – “I want to be a dancing man” – in a different set, wearing different costumes. What fascinates film fans is that Astaire was so perfectly rehearsed that the two dances are identical but for the set and costume changes:

What’s charming in a classic dance scene, though, is somehow unpalatable in a presidential candidate. We all understand that there’s only so much the candidates can say about any specific issue, but we still like to imagine there’s a modicum of spontaneity and humanity there.

Many people already had their doubts about Warren’s connection to the human race. After all, it was through a bizarre kitchen video that she announced she was running. In the video, Warren welcomed her husband into their kitchen as if he were a stranger. Even more peculiarly, she went for a beer like someone who had never actually had a beer before:

Watching the video, one can readily imagine hearing a little pop and fizz, seeing smoke rise from behind her head, and then watch her freeze until a repairman runs up, carefully turns a switch at the side of her head, by her ear, and swings her face away, revealing that she’s actually an android. Indeed, that would explain so much if it were true. After all, she may well be the only candidate who’s ever mastered speaking in “stereophonic sound.”

No matter the question asked of her, Elizabeth Warren instantly swings into a pre-programmed wrap. “Look,” she’ll say. “I’ve got a plan for that.” And then she’ll start reciting the vague parameters of a plan that invariably involves spending massive, but unspecified, amounts of taxpayer money and significantly increasing the government’s role in every American’s life and livelihood.

There’s now a video showing how perfectly rehearsed Warren’s statements are. Sure, the words sometimes change a little, but those changes are relatively insignificant. The substance, the rhythm, the timing . . . they’re all there in perfect order. Irritating as it is to listen to Warren blabber on, especially in stereo, this video is a neat trick and well-worth watching to understand how canned Warren is:

There’s a well-known video showing Fred Astaire trying out a single dance – “I want to be a dancing man” – in a different set, wearing different costumes. What fascinates film fans is that Astaire was so perfectly rehearsed that the two dances are identical but for the set and costume changes:

What’s charming in a classic dance scene, though, is somehow unpalatable in a presidential candidate. We all understand that there’s only so much the candidates can say about any specific issue, but we still like to imagine there’s a modicum of spontaneity and humanity there.

Many people already had their doubts about Warren’s connection to the human race. After all, it was through a bizarre kitchen video that she announced she was running. In the video, Warren welcomed her husband into their kitchen as if he were a stranger. Even more peculiarly, she went for a beer like someone who had never actually had a beer before:

Watching the video, one can readily imagine hearing a little pop and fizz, seeing smoke rise from behind her head, and then watch her freeze until a repairman runs up, carefully turns a switch at the side of her head, by her ear, and swings her face away, revealing that she’s actually an android. Indeed, that would explain so much if it were true. After all, she may well be the only candidate who’s ever mastered speaking in “stereophonic sound.”