Joe Biden gets a sexual assault accuser of his own

Over the years, we've cracked a few jokes about VP Biden, from his gaffes to his quick hands.

Yesterday, we learned that a woman is accusing V.P. Biden of a little too much touching, or something like that.  Her name is Lucy Flores:

I found my way to the holding room for the speakers, where everyone was chatting, taking photos, and getting ready to speak to the hundreds of voters in the audience.  Just before the speeches, we were ushered to the side of the stage where we were lined up by order of introduction.  As I was taking deep breaths and preparing myself to make my case to the crowd, I felt two hands on my shoulders.  I froze.  "Why is the vice-president of the United States touching me?"

I felt him get closer to me from behind.  He leaned further in and inhaled my hair.  I was mortified.  I thought to myself, "I didn't wash my hair today and the vice-president of the United States is smelling it.  And also, what in the actual f---?  Why is the vice-president of the United States smelling my hair?"  He proceeded to plant a big slow kiss on the back of my head.  My brain couldn't process what was happening.  I was embarrassed.  I was shocked.  I was confused.  There is a Spanish saying, "tragame tierra," it means, "earth, swallow me whole."  I couldn't move and I couldn't say anything.  I wanted nothing more than to get Biden away from me.  My name was called and I was never happier to get on stage in front of an audience.

Well.  Then she goes on the victim trip about surviving in a culture of "white men" and "machismo."

What can I say? 

I believe that this entire incident speaks volumes about the modern Democratic Party.  My guess is that the party just does not want a white man named Biden on top of the ticket.  So the Dems are dropping this story now as V.P. Biden is contemplating a run for president.

Who knows where this story will go or whether there is more coming?  In the meantime, President Trump must be watching and enjoying the show.

PS: You can listen to my show (Canto Talk) and follow me on Twitter.

If you experience technical problems, please write to