In defense of transgenders in sports

Far from being against transgenders in sports, I'm for it.  If possible, I'd like for all sports to be integrated immediately.

For too long, leftists have been telling us the sexes were equal.  Then a 230-lb man named "Hannah Mouncey" grew his hair out and started trouncing the women at handball.  Fallon Fox joined the MMA and beat the ladies to a bloody pulp.  Mack Beggs became a female wrestler, God bless him, and choke-held the ladies until they all cried uncle.  All of them weirdos, and all of them heroes.

It isn't civilized, but neither are the bra-burners.  The transgenders are on the verge of saving us from our morality, and instead of recognizing this golden opportunity, our right-wingers are busy crying about it.  We were on the verge of putting women on the front lines without seeing how they'd do first as linebackers.  Now we have an opportunity to publicly bulldoze, trample, uppercut, choke-hold, and generally mangle our most obnoxious women into submission – and we're throwing away the opportunity because some of us think this is less offensive than having them shot, captured, and most likely raped by a foreign enemy. 

Truth be told, I don't care much for seeing grown men join girls' sports.  It discourages our sane women from being athletic, which from every angle is a tragedy.  But at least give women a test run in men's sports – and then we can decide what to do with the military.