Netflix is remaking the campy 1960s series Lost in Space.  As might be expected, the network is doing everything it can to ethnically cleanse white people and men from the cast, but it's a hard proposition, given that in the original series, the story focused on Professor John Robinson, a white man; his white wife, Maureen Robinson; Major Don West, a white man; Will Robinson, a white boy; and Dr. Zachary Smith, a white man.

The show-runners started by replacing Dr. Smith with a woman, Parker Posey.  Yes, Dr. Smith is now a girl (in much the same way that Britain's Dr. Who is now Nurse Who).

The original Dr. Smith.

Meet the new Dr. Smith.

Then Major West was replaced with a Hispanic character, played by Ignacio Serricchio.  Okay, Major West is Spanish now.  Maybe he should be called "Major Oeste."

The old Major West.  White men must go.

Meet "Major Oeste."

But the most confusing part is that Judy West is now being played by black actress Taylor Russell.

What?

In the show, Judy, Penny, and Will Robinson were the biological children of John and Maureen Robinson.  Since John and Maureen were white, it was pretty much a given that the children were, too.

Judy Robinson then...

...and now.

In their endless quest for diversity, the diversity-mongers in Hollywood are about to rewrite the laws of genetics.  I see three possibilities:

1. John and Maureen Robinson adopted Judy.  Why, we don't know.

2. Maureen had an affair with a black man who impregnated her with Judy, and the helpless cuckolded John Robinson forgave her and adopted Judy as his own.

3. Judy actually started out white but had a bad encounter on a planet of aliens whose touch caused her to become black.

"Diversity" has come to mean that minorities must be in every television show, even remakes of ones that never had them, even remakes where the cast had to be white by reason of family relations.  If Dallas or The Godfather was remade today, a third of the cast would have to be black or Hispanic, and we'd be treated to Marlon Brando's character harping on the joys of adopting so many children from the Third World and raising them as his own.

Ironically, the new Lost in Space is a step backward from at least one P.C. perspective: no openly gay characters. In the original series, Jonathan Harris played the role not just acting a little bit gay, but flaming like a blowtorch.  There was also something more than a little NAMBLA-ish about how Dr. Smith would always seek out alone time with Will Robinson.  By turning Dr. Smith into a woman, the writers have forestalled that possibility...unless they make the Robot bisexual.

Ed Straker is the senior writer at Newsmachete.com.