Liberals forgoing reproduction because of global warming

Global Warming doomsday cultists are so sure that the Earth is going to be destroyed that they are afraid to have children.

A 32-year-old who always thought she would have children can no longer justify it to herself. A Mormon has bucked the expectations of her religion by resolving to adopt rather than give birth. An Ohio woman had her first child after an unplanned pregnancy -- and then had a second because she did not want her daughter to face an environmental collapse alone.

A second child to comfort the first suffering from the horrors of global warming. I guess misery loves company, heh heh.

If it weren’t for climate change, Allison Guy said, she would go off birth control tomorrow.

Allison, do us all a favor, and keep taking those pills!

Parents like Amanda PerryMiller, a Christian youth leader and mother of two in Independence, Ohio, share her fears.

“Animals are disappearing. The oceans are full of plastic. The human population is so numerous, the planet may not be able to support it indefinitely,” said Ms. PerryMiller, 29. “This doesn’t paint a very pretty picture for people bringing home a brand-new baby from the hospital.”

Animals have disappeared!

Oceans are full of plastic!

The human population is so numerous!

The people thinking about these issues fit no single profile. They are women and men, liberal and conservative. 

Yeah, right, they're all religious Christian conservatives, heh heh.

For Sara Jackson Shumate, 37, who has a young daughter, having a second child would mean moving to a house farther from her job as a lecturer at the Metropolitan State University of Denver. She is not sure she can justify the environmental impact of a larger home and a longer commute.

Do you think she could justify a second child if she fed the first one half-rations and told her to take shallow breaths for the rest of her life?

And Maram Kaff, who lives in Cairo, said she had been deeply affected by reports that parts of the Middle East may be too hot for human habitation by 2100.

I saw the same reports and I thought they said that parts of the Middle East would be too Islamic for human habitation by 2100.

I think this is great. I think all liberals should get sterilized to pay penance for their role in bringing about the great global warming disaster.

Exit question: Have you ever asked your liberal acquaintances if they feel guilty about reproducing, since they are obviously destroying the planet with global warming, if not the country by their votes?

Ed Straker is the senior writer at Newsmachete.com.

Global Warming doomsday cultists are so sure that the Earth is going to be destroyed that they are afraid to have children.

A 32-year-old who always thought she would have children can no longer justify it to herself. A Mormon has bucked the expectations of her religion by resolving to adopt rather than give birth. An Ohio woman had her first child after an unplanned pregnancy -- and then had a second because she did not want her daughter to face an environmental collapse alone.

A second child to comfort the first suffering from the horrors of global warming. I guess misery loves company, heh heh.

If it weren’t for climate change, Allison Guy said, she would go off birth control tomorrow.

Allison, do us all a favor, and keep taking those pills!

Parents like Amanda PerryMiller, a Christian youth leader and mother of two in Independence, Ohio, share her fears.

“Animals are disappearing. The oceans are full of plastic. The human population is so numerous, the planet may not be able to support it indefinitely,” said Ms. PerryMiller, 29. “This doesn’t paint a very pretty picture for people bringing home a brand-new baby from the hospital.”

Animals have disappeared!

Oceans are full of plastic!

The human population is so numerous!

The people thinking about these issues fit no single profile. They are women and men, liberal and conservative. 

Yeah, right, they're all religious Christian conservatives, heh heh.

For Sara Jackson Shumate, 37, who has a young daughter, having a second child would mean moving to a house farther from her job as a lecturer at the Metropolitan State University of Denver. She is not sure she can justify the environmental impact of a larger home and a longer commute.

Do you think she could justify a second child if she fed the first one half-rations and told her to take shallow breaths for the rest of her life?

And Maram Kaff, who lives in Cairo, said she had been deeply affected by reports that parts of the Middle East may be too hot for human habitation by 2100.

I saw the same reports and I thought they said that parts of the Middle East would be too Islamic for human habitation by 2100.

I think this is great. I think all liberals should get sterilized to pay penance for their role in bringing about the great global warming disaster.

Exit question: Have you ever asked your liberal acquaintances if they feel guilty about reproducing, since they are obviously destroying the planet with global warming, if not the country by their votes?

Ed Straker is the senior writer at Newsmachete.com.