Although it happened less than a year ago, the 2017 so-called Women's March, co-organized by noted anti-Jewish, anti-Israel, anti-Christian female Linda Sarsour, featuring thousands of easily duped women wearing bizarre pink "pussy hats" symbolizing their opposition to a ten-year-old secretly taped offhand remark by at the time private citizen Donald Trump, seems as dated as wearing a bustle in a phone booth.  

Ashley Judd, daughter of and sister of entertainers and sometime entertainer herself, opened the proceedings, chirping, "I'm a nasty woman," based on a poem written by a 19-year-old angry at Donald Trump (R).  Ooooh, scary.  But several months later, the very same Ashley Judd revealed serious accusations of rape and other severe sexually predatory behavior against supporter of liberal causes Harvey Weinstein, opening up a torrent of up 'til now secret and private horror incidents of sexual abuse by prominent entertainment, journalism, and  business personalities – overwhelmingly liberal males who publicly professed the utmost respect for women.  Was this part of a devious plan to deceive Weinstein?  

Madonna followed these little girl mumblings by  swearing and sharing her "thoughts of blowing up the White House," which she later complained "were taken out of context."  Yeah.  

And as, er, icons are toppled, with new ones added even as we read that other, um, icons such as Gloria Steinem and several feminists are re-evaluating (kinda-sorta) the pass they gave Bill Clinton (D) nearly 20 years ago after numerous non-elite Southern women credibly accused him of rape and other sexual deviancies, the open secrets of other "icons" such as the Kennedy brothers, Ted (D) and John (D) (may they both rest in peace), are resurfacing.  

So the women planning the next Women's March on the one-year anniversary of President Donald Trump (R)'s inauguration obviously have to totally throw away last year's planning manual.  (In light of the revelations, they are planning a second act, aren't they?)  Time is short, so I will offer them a few helpful suggestions.

Hats in the shape of Matt Lauer's rape button should be the official headgear.  Either in feminine pink or any other color, they would be easy to knit and wearable afterward.

With an official motto of We All Knew (but Didn't Speak Up), Ann Curry can finally explain why "we need to keep our workplaces safe."  Women the world over will finally learn the difference between "rape-rape"  and plain old rape from The View's expert on the subject, Whoopi (sic!) Goldberg (sic!).  We can find out and why the latter term, an adult molesting – OK, raping – a drugged 13-year-old, is OK.  After all, it wasn't double-rape followed by multiple Oscar-winner Meryl Streep re-enacting her famous  leap and whoop after Roman Polanski joined her in the rarified Oscars circle and then announcing that no, Harvey Weinstein is not god after saying he was.  Why did she change her mind?  And of course, Cokie Roberts will reveal basic elevator safety with male members of Congress.  Maybe even Gloria Steinem will show up.  What about you, Hillary?  And Donna Brazile?

Keeping in mind the basic American rights of innocent until proven guilty and the need for due process, the event's theme will be "I'm Sorry (I Was Caught) and Thus Offended You (Lowly Creature)" as several of the accused shed their crocodile tears, begging for forgiveness,  pleading that they don't remember doing any of this and will really, truly be better if you only give them a chance.  

Hey, these helpful tips can apply to other occasions, so organizers of the Academy Awards, the Grammys, and even the White House Correspondents Dinner, all of which have been under criticism for some reason the past few years, are free to use them.  Ratings and attendance success guaranteed.  

You're welcome.