It is heartening to know nobody reads this stuff

Our university campuses are ruled by professors who waste the time and money of their students by teaching them useless garbage and propaganda.  Now we learn they don't even read each other's academic papers.

Long outdated rules of tenure give these politicized goons lifetime employment, with the requirement that they ignore their students in the name of research.  Their noble endeavor requiring tenure is to push back the frontiers of knowledge and publish their findings regularly.  Two million peer-reviewed journal articles a year, to be precise.

Professors usually spend about 3-6 months (sometimes longer) researching and writing a 25-page article to submit an article to an academic journal. And most experience a twinge of excitement when, months later, they open a letter informing them that their article has been accepted for publication, and will therefore be read by ... an average of ten people. ...

(Trust me: most academics don't even want to read their peers' papers.) Some of the titles in the most recent issues of the Journal of the American Academy of Religion – which proclaims itself as "the top academic journal in the field of religious studies" – serve as evidence:

  • "Dona Benta's Rosary: Managing Ambiguity in a Brazilian Women's Prayer Group"
  • "Death and Demonization of a Bodhisattva: Guanyin's Reformulation within Chinese Religion"
  • "Brides and Blemishes: Queering Women's Disability in Rabbinic Marriage Law"

Online degrees and the end of universities as we know them cannot come soon enough.