For those too fastidious to dirty their clothes, Nordstrom will...for a price

Suffering from a slide in sales since they succumbed to the narrow-minded feminist mob demanding that the nicely designed Ivanka Trump-labeled items be banished from their stores, Nordstrom is now desperately trying to woo new customers: men.  How desperately?  In advertising copy that is beyond parody and almost beyond comment, Nordstrom sings the praises of its unique $425 blue jeans.

Heavily distressed medium-blue denim jeans in a comfortable straight-leg fit embody rugged, Americana workwear that's seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you're not afraid to get down and dirty.    $425.00  Free shipping  Made in Portugal

Somewhere in blue jean heaven, Levi Strauss, who, with a partner, developed the original "rugged Americana workwear," blue jeans with rivets and tent material for gold miners and other American workers who were "not afraid to get down and dirty" the old fashioned way – by hardworking action in real mud that coated and caked on all their clothes and all over their bodies – is laughing.  Strauss's namesake company still exists, still selling those jeans for $350 cheaper than these.  And their blue jean-clad employees will be glad to sell them even if you're afraid to get down and dirty.